|Sunday, December 16th, 2018|
Art is subjective
From creator's vision to public's reaction
of love and hate
dissension and acceptance
fame and derision
the same work is both masterpiece and garbage
popculture fantasy and affront to developed values
a layered atrocity built upon skills meant to invoke nothing
and a simple stroke of grande de magnefique portraying intricate thought and philosophical arguments
that last a millennia
The Starry Night
Stairway to Heaven
Howard the Duck
Know them you might
eye of the beholder what not
it takes a village, a city, a planet, a universe, a dimension, a family, an individual
a cat, a dog, a mouse
what might be right for some, might not be right for all
a man is born
he's a man of means
what he spends that money on
is it art? Because he said it's so
is it not art if he decides to not buy it?
If it sits on the road
ignored, is it not treasure still or garbage or both
if hated by most, but loved by few
who matters more
the art is still
to be dissected, reflected, absorbed
as more art is made
attitudes change, aesthetics evolve, devolve, revolve
what you yourself once loved
you now despise
deja vu is real simply
it has happened before
it will happen again
what once was old is new again
give me something borrow
give me something blue
i'll give you the leather coat off my back
hand you a paint brush
do what you will
return it to me
love it or hate it
i'll wear it
i'll never call it
art is what you make of it
what you make is art
bad, good, indifferent
Subjective is Art
and so is Zack Snyder
Original Theatrical Date: March 25, 2011
Sucker Punch is an epic action fantasy that takes us into the vivid imagination of a young girl whose dream world provides the ultimate escape from her darker reality. Unrestrained by the boundaries of time and place, she is free to go where her mind takes her, and her incredible adventures blur the lines between what's real and what is imaginary.
She has been locked away against her will, but Babydoll (Emily Browning) has not lost her will to survive.
Determined to fight for her freedom, she urges four other young girls—the outspoken Rocket (Jena Malone), the street-smart Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens), the fiercely loyal Amber (Jamie Chung) and the reluctant Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish)—to band together and try to escape their terrible fate at the hands of their captors, Blue (Oscar Isaac), Madam Gorski (Carla Gugino) and the High Roller (Jon Hamm).
Led by Babydoll, the girls engage in fantastical warfare against everything from samurais to serpents, with a virtual arsenal at their disposal.
Together, they must decide what they are willing to sacrifice in order to stay alive. But with the help of a Wise Man (Scott Glenn), their unbelievable journey—if they succeed—will set them free.
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|Sunday, December 9th, 2018|
4:06 am - It's... Whatever.
Kings and Queens, Presidents, Tzars, Dictators, no matter where you and no matter what time period, they are all the same in many ways. They do/did their duties and much of looked/looks like it is done with ease. All these folks had a what could amount to a small army of courtesans, maidens, council, assistants, under chiefs, and the ilk who worked behind the scenes. Practically in shadow they would do things you never even considered to make the machine look like it ran on its own. Of course certain things changed, in the modern age most presidents would have someone dress them, bathe them, monitor their health for them, etc., but tasks which would be presented to have been organized, designed and orchestrated by the person in charge like they were handled 100's of years ago are the same now and shall be for 100s of years to come.
Governmental structure from monarchies, to imperialism, to tiered houses and parliament are all essentially the same. From the times of the greeks to today, placed through family, title, etc. or voted in “the public”, a group of individuals decide the fate of the populous usually without their say so, even with the illusion that they did. These are the people running things truly but the illusion while visible is never shattered. It is a virtuoso magic show, but the end results are more then pure spectacle.
In two films currently/coming soon (Winter 2018) in US theaters, telling the epic, intriguing, shadowy, stories of rises and falls of people in this world of power set 400+ years apart these tricks are shown in full view and yet as well they display them, one may be still confused that the trick worked, because another trick has been played... much like a Penn & Teller set.
The films are MARY, QUEEN of SCOTS (out December 8) and VICE (December 25th). One shows how it took an entire cadre of ladies and men to boost both Elizabeth and Mary. While most if not all decisions were made primarily by these women, behind the scenes and to their faces, forces were in one hand supporting them while secretly working out how to get the kingdom as their own. The people of the United Kingdom I am sure were oblivious to this as they went to war or decried their own sovereigns based on the information fed to them by clandestine opposes to the crown as well as staunch supporters who defied it equally. Wars were fought not for victory or glory but to hide other practices, to instill certain fear, camaraderie and unity in the people to a cause. As years gone on, leading to rumor, lies, half truths, death, birth and destruction all for nought, only to see Mary's son grow to fule the entire kingdom, but... that didn't last. That is another story and film altogether, but benefits to the conception of effortless ruler ship that secretly took much force.
Looking to VICE, that premise holds fast. While focusing on the career and life of Dick Cheney it also details a bit of Donald Rumsfield and the entirety of how the people behind folks like Reagan and later George W. Bush allowed things to go so quietly in the night for a good portion of the American public. As if it was just a wave of the hand that it all happened, just simple, easy, the ball was here, and now it's gone and now... it is back. An idiot can do the remarkable, rule the Earth with ease and we don't question it or we question it but don't truly understand it. The film even displays that Cheney himself wasn't the wisest. Scrupulous, persistent, willing to do anything to please the woman he loved at any cost, even if in the shadow of other more visually powerful people? Yes. That is what Cheney pulled off.. making power look like the simplest thing to gain and because he's so secretive one can only guess how the trick was truly achieved.
It goes back to the same kind of people 500 years ago who knew this parlor tricks of being political magicians, or in some cases business wizards, love illusionists. It is a skill to never fully comprehend, yet cherish. For if it seems you don't care, no one shall know how much you do care and with in that holds true power.
conceived and written for </a></a>therealljidol LJ Idol presents Literary Prize Fight Week 8: Sprezzatura
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|Sunday, November 25th, 2018|
2:40 am - Thank You
This has been a very interesting year for me and it's not over. I don't actually have millions of things to be thankful, but what I do have I appreciate. I've made new friends over this year and new colleagues and it's made me find new branches of career and future that I wasn't sure of before.|
Firstly though I'd be no where that I am without having a loving, caring mother. She's a gem.
Despite expansive schedules and major changes Nick <my forever brother> (and his wife Terri) are still constants in my life. We speak on the regular. We had an absolutely amazing trip to Boston. Barring something catastrophic or stupid in scheduling/weather/etc we shall close out the year together as well.
The wrestling company Brii Combination Wrestling as well as its promoter Anthony Michael Cole, booker and “commisioner” Pete Rosado, commentator and manager AJ Pan, announcer Shane Fair and its regular locker room (Azriael, Darius Carter, Eric Jayden, Faye Jackson, The Ugly Ducklings, South Philly's Finest, Mik Drake, Bison, Tasha Steelz, et al) really took me in as I grew from helper to head of production and events manager. They aren't just friends, they become family.
The platform Twitch has given an entire group of new friends. Not just streamers, but the community of folks in those streamers. A whole crew of folks who enjoy my quips and thoughts all over the world. I have new friends who are into games, comics, movies, television and music. Wrestlers, former rock stars, and everyday people who are just interesting and fun. There's so many folks to mention it'd be impossible.
My friend Dizzy who lives in Florida has been fantastic to know.
My blood family in Chicago which includes many cousins on my dearly departed uncle's side.
My relationship with Rath's, especially as always Breana is still strong despite them living in New Zealand and I'm extremely grateful for that.
Friends like Harry who I've got to see a lot. Even folks like David and Brad who I don't get to see enough of.
My entire graffiti and art gallery community who when we do see each other it's like some epic reunion and we stay in touch via social networks.
I'm gonna miss mentioning someone. They shouldn't feel slighted. I could be here for days listing names individually of whose meant a lot to making 2018 really special.
2019 I think could be even better... much better. Also 2018 isn't over.
Here's a weird song mash-up I made about being friends from songs about being a friend.
Listen, I think its cool even if strange. Please and Thank you.
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|Wednesday, November 14th, 2018|
5:13 pm - Not My First Rodeo
Stratosphere came down across the oceans
lightnings first strike a firefly zooming inside the pupils
a stingray shooting into an empty void brazen and unafraid leaping towards that next dimension
you've been here before you'll be here again
from Mongolia to Mozambique from Hawaii to Wyoming
fast as the fox as explosive as trinitrotoluene
You may think you know what you know
you may think you may think
you know nothing but yet you also know everything
born before you die dead before your born
It was a New Year's Eve when I remembered that I knew the paradox fell upon on itself
the circle that we've all been living in for so many centuries and yet barely a millisecond
riding on that great white cloud launched a thousand missiles into my own heart
I've done the Deed that is to be done and I'd do it all again
Sometimes it seems like it's all just gibberish but in truth it's all languages
The tower of Babel but it never crumbled
we have seen god and we have seen the devil we have seen allah and we have seen yahweh
We have dined with princes and princesses
up-and-down the Ivory Coast from Madagascar to sri Lanka to Bombay
the Big Dipper to the Nexus nebula
around and around where we stopped something knows
the trip started as one we became two we became one we became all
next time you think you can tell me I don't know
I know too muchwritten and recorded for
</a></a>therealljidol LJ Idol presents Literary Prize Fight Week 6
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|Thursday, November 8th, 2018|
11:44 pm - WRESTLING SHOW
This show is taking up the bulk of my brain power, so writing intelligent good stuff about my life in Kayfabe is not happening. It's our last show of the year and it's really huge. We have a legit wedding.
Our Main Event is something we've been building up to for months.
There was a scandal over the last 24 hours where a booked match had to be changed quickly. There was no Kayfabe involved. If there is Kayfabe involved I don't know what the point would be.
This show is huge with what is booked if you know anything about the indy wrestling scene on the East Coast or well Wrestling period. We have folks from Chikara, folks from EVOLVE, a rematch of Teddy Hart and Chris Dickinson from one of the biggest shows on 2018 and we also have Glacier.
My everything in this. I handle production, check on workers, make sure the show flows, set up and take down the show, clean up.
It will be fun.
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|Wednesday, October 31st, 2018|
1:55 pm - Ghosting
For a long time my best friend Nick and I seemed to seek a third to be part of our group. Someone who just fit in and added another dynamic. Through the years a lot of people have fit the role, but never for long enough. Eventually disappearing into the ether, becoming names on the wind, memories of times long gone, never to be found again, cementing our soul entwined two person friendship that defies all logic and just works. |
Milton O'Shaunessy was someone I had known before I actually met my spiritual brother. He would get me drunk at a young age and we'd play pool then go to strip clubs. He was a different friend to have. We mostly hung out on weekends while I was in high school and the summers between. When I started going to college the friendship became less and less. Yet he was still a part of my life and as I evolved and friendship with Nick grew visits were made to the far location Milton had moved to. An attempt to have us all fit together was made. It didn't really last long though. One night while all three of us were drunk Milton called my girlfriend at the time a whore. Not once, but multiple times... until I became enraged and punched him square in the face. I split his lip open. Nick told me later and since he claims Milton wanted me to punch him. Amazingly that wasn't the end of the friendship though. As I got older my Alpha dog abilities really became enforced and Milton didn't seem to like that. He felt and sensed it more and more each time we hung out that he no longer “leader of the pack” but that we were all equals and he didn't handle it well. The last time Nick and I saw him there we plans to go see a movie. At the last second as we were about to head the theater, Milton turns around and says he's just gonna go to the bar. We offered to go to the bar after, since it was so early. He just turned and left. I didn't see him again for almost two years. It was a random occurrence as we were both in the same store. It lasted less than 40 seconds. If I wanted or needed I could possibly find Milton again, but for all conventional purposes, he was gone. I have left out a lot of tales and experiences with Milton. St. Patty Day's, New Year's Eve Parties... for a second he was part of a gang, but in the end, it was once again Nick and I.
We met Warrior Poet when we were in college. Nick had more relations with him but it very quickly at times would become a threesome. He was much more Nick's Milton in certain ways, but Warrior had a special liking to me. He appreciated my creativity, my bluntness and my style. The three of us had appreciation for poetry which we shared through open mics. We shared mutual friends through various collectives and communities. We were in college together which always went a long way but kept things going for a few years after college. Then Warrior became more Warrior and less poet as he joined the forces of war and became an elite. Marriage and kids followed and after time we saw less and less of him. When he comes back to NYC we find out the day of mostly and communication at least on my end is very minuscule and Nick has not spoken to him in a long time. While still a part of our lives, he is equally not there.
Other friends from college times existed on equal or different levels as well. None truly ever lasted. There was another who did fit very well though. He was awkward and coming into himself, yet also had confidence and swagger in certain situations. Nick and I went to a Warped Tour with him. I gave him his first hit of marijuana which he did not react to very well. I went to his house and saw his slightly unconventional and also restrictive homelife. Nick had his own experiences with him as well. He was a good kid. We both considered a great friend and a welcome addition to our lives. Yet one day, he just disappeared. Not in the way someone just leaves your life, but truly went into the midst. His family reached out to us wondering if we knew where he went. Neither of us ever heard from him again. He became our mystery and at times an inexplicable standpoint. At times Nick and I will be in a mental place and look at each other and just say “His name was Mike Wan”... for in “death” we regain our the names we never truly worried about in life and camaraderie.
In Nick's second wife we have found a third friend. She is a great companion, but she also is Nick's wife, so while a third and I never a third wheel to them when we hang out, it's not the complete threesome we've seeked. She has gone with us on some of our bigger adventures and it's always a joy, the three of us taking in things, sharing, experiencing, making choices and decisions. It works in so many dynamic ways, but she is also an extension of Nick more than a third person (despite very much being her own person and someone I have my own relationship with separate from Nick).
There are other friends in our lives currently who also fit into the circle, but live very random dramatic lives that coming together is a rare occurrence. Nick and I have also as we get older had our lives take twists and turns of our own circles in which we are not together at all. Our friendship is as strong as it has ever been, but Nick isn't part of my wrestling life and while he has gone on urbexing adventures with me he's also not in my graffiti and street art circles in terms of haring friendships. Those are my own personal world and friends. Which is good, you have to be able to not be with your besties at times, to have your own world.
For if you don't have those worlds to turn to when alone for whatever reason, when best friends are busy, you may find yourself disappearing like others have and then, even you are gone.
(names changed to protect the innocent and the guilty)
(An alternative to this retrospective personal semi-autographical short essay I had planned to turn the following music video into a story. While it has nothing to with anything I wrote, the band is named Ghosted and sometimes... music is like a best friend and when a best friend, it can become a third. Imagine being in that car, driving down, nothing else to do, without a song playing on the background.
written for </a>therealljidol</span> LJ Idol presents Literary Prize Fight Week 4
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|Wednesday, October 24th, 2018|
2:01 am - Tsundoku
I gather books in a ways that aren't exactly the average style. While most folks build their library through book stores or in the modern era Amazon, my amassed collection of 5000+ plus novels, graphic stories, cook books, memoirs, art retrospectives are more were acquired through different means. These various means have meant getting more than I can ever read in a life time. It has allowed for me to actually discover writers though and books I never even knew existed. |
Here is a not very short list of places I have gotten books:
Library sales with Fill a Bag option (for $10, whatever you fit in a bag is yours)
Fill a Bag sales at The Strand
Fill a Bag sales at various thrift shops
10 cent sales at Webster Library
random Boxes on the street
ARCS from Book Expos
ARCS from Comic Conventions
Books sent to me for review via publisher
Direct from the writer/artist/author/creator
Going out of Business Sales from Virgin Megastore & Tower Records
and even one I never returned to a college library (it's completely out of print and had only ever been taken out once in 25 years...)
Now this isn't to say I've never bought a book full price at Barnes & Nobles. I have had no choice. I have particular holes in collections that I need filled sometimes and that was the only choice. That doesn't mean I've read them. I just wanted to know the book was in my collection so one day I would read it. This could be considered pack ratting but it really isn't. Public libraries are great and all, but there's some supremely satisfying over having a private library that has some version of essentially all the most important books of the last 200 years.
Using a site such as https://thegreatestbooks.org/ I can inexplicably state I have everyone of these books. Now some I may have as a graphic novel, others in an annotated edition, or possibly a modernization. Maybe I only have the film version in some cases as many of these sales included CDs and DVDs. Go through any year on there, even go through the non fiction, my rate of success of owner ship is 75%. My rate of actually reading said books? Maybe 15%.
That's simply because I've done the same thing with films, with music, and even with video games at least on PC. I have at current count 351 games in my Steam Library, I have played 110 of them tops and some of those only a little. Does it count if it was a little? Does that count with a book, if you read a chapter or two but got distracted, so by the time you ever pick up the book again you'd need to re-read those chapters anyways? I don't know. I don't have the answers, but what I do have our a lot of books with theories, queries, mysteries, solutions, and mishmosh... but they also won't have answers. Well, one book has an answer. It's one of the few books in this ridiculous collection I have read more than once, watched versions of multiple times and even listened to radio plays about. That answer is 42. Now the only problem is... what was the question?
written for therealljidol LJ Idol presents Literary Prize Fight Week 3
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|Friday, October 12th, 2018|
12:10 pm - My Mount Rushmore
We all have pantheons. People we place on a higher pedestal. Icons, influences, luminaries, the individuals who prestige have been a greater part of our make up. Some of us have more than others. Some can name one person who meant everything to them, a single shining monument. Such as the ones surrounding the area of the Smithsonian to presidents Washington and Lincoln or the small dedications throughout Central Park to authors Hans Christian Andersen and Louis Carroll. Then there's the large rocks sculpted in South Dakota depicting Washington, Lincoln, Jefferson and Roosevelt. Titled Mount Rushmore as that was the name of the actual mountain where Gutzon Bulgom and his team created the now famous landmark.|
If made today by a different set of artists but with the same parameters one might wonder which presidents would be chosen. I have quite a strong background in history and while Washington would definitely make the cut as being the first president, and Lincoln for during the Civil War, I would have to say FDR despite his failings would replace Theodore or Jefferson.
Yet if the project was solely mine alone to represent not American political history but myself things become much harder. I am made up of art, music, dance, comedy, drama, writing, reading (and even some arithmetic, but actually just business math). To create a single “Mount Rushmore” would be nigh impossible. I could surely choose one individual from four fields that influenced me, but it would feel like I was being remiss of someone. Therefore more mountains would have to be found and more structures made. If kept to just the four I admit I could break it down to Jason Robards*, Billy Joel*, Theodore Geisel*, and the Iceman King Parsons*. That would respect my acting, singing, writing, and professional wrestling. Fields I truly reflect in. They would be such an incomplete picture though. I would truly need to make 100s of rushmores to really encapsulate all the influences that made me into me, the esoteric enigma locked in a maze hidden in a labyrinth that is a puzzle of my own making yet can't remember how it begins or ends.
So before that final sculpture I shall begin with one depicting four men of comedy. Four men who when I in a deep enough state of REM yet tangibleness have found myself taking a riverboat to a cabin to play poker and discuss the intricacies of performing, creating and being in front of audience. While all four of them were amazingly funny, they were also just true craftsman and great at everything including singing which they still brought that polish of funny with every time.
Andy Kaufman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kpBzUQHYtM
Sam Kinison https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiSIfgGvh0k
John Belushi https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSk6o5x5HlM
Rodney Dangerfield https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_y3Vlrs-j4 (cameo by Kaufman)
(links to classic skits showing them at their best in my personal opinion)
As a young lad the first books I truly recall reading was Roald Dahl. Shockingly and surprising to many, by 8 I was reading Douglas Adams (followed by Robert Heinlein, Isaac Asimov, Norman Spinrad, Phillip K. Dick, etc.), as I got older my horizons broadened. Carl Hiassen, Andrew Vacchs, Michael Crichton, John Updike, and John Irving joined my library. Then later folks like Joyce Carol Oates, Dennis Lehane, Michael Chabon, and Chuck Palahniuk.
List of top books by the four authors that influenced me as person, as a reader and as a writer.
Roald Dahl: BOY, James and The Giant Peach, The Twits, The Fantastic Mr. Fox, Matilda
Douglas Adams: So Long and Thanks for All The Fish, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul
John Irving: The World According to Garp, A Prayer for Owen Meany, The 158 Pound Marriage
Chuck Palahniuk: Lullaby, Survivor, Stranger Than Fiction
A music Rushmore comes so much harder. Constantly changing. Adding bands, woman, rapper, stars, but for the capture of time I chose four whose voices will stand by me forever. Whose lives, souls, choices, good and bad became part of who I was, who I am and who I shall be. Without folks like Freddie Mecury, Michael Hutchence, David Bowie and George Michael I wouldn't truly understand sexuality, freedom, the stars, demons, angels, the inside, the outside, the rhapsody, the pressure, the joy, the sadness. To hear them sing is to know them, to know them is to feel them, to know them is to realize you do not know them at all and the pursuit of understanding them and therefore maybe yourself.
Slightly Mad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Od6hY_50Dh0
Devil Inside: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hv_zJrO_ptk
Space Oddity: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYYRH4apXDo
Freedom 90: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diYAc7gB-0A
*Jason Robards: One of the most underappreciated actors of multiple generations. A career going back to 50's television as well as a true stage actor he wouldn't land his major roles at 40 till Sidney Lumet began adapting Eugene O'Neil's work for the screen. Star turns followed, many taking advantage of his theater background but notably was Sergio Leone's classic “Once Upon a Time in the West”. The 70s gave him truly dark roles such as A Boy and His Dog and his Oscar award winning role in All The Presidents Men. Many major roles followed in the 80s, as well into the 90s (including my favorite film of all time Dream A little Dream) and he worked until his passing including in the modern classic Magnolia.
*Billy Joel: A patronizing figure if there ever was one, but as a musician and singer/songwriter, he'll always be tops to me. Piano Man, Scenes from an Italian Restaurant, Uptown Girl, The Ballad of Billy The Kid, The Downeaster Alexa, and little ditty that I use sing when I was 10 years old in a nightclub downtown that would help start my young career:
*Theodore Geisel: If I truly need to explain Dr. Seuss to you, then well just get out of my caboose. Still if you've never seen The 5000 Fingers of Dr.T, then get your eyes off to a “TV”.
“Ice Man” King Parsons: Before there was Rock, a Stone Cold, a John Cena, or even a Hulk Hogan, there the Ice Man. A product of his time, a man of his generation, a jive talker, an ass kicker, a fashion icon, and a man all men who truly knew wrestling will say they studied if probed hard enough. Here's some Classic Parsons with him doing his thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35rbjbOFZXc
To know them is to know me, but it is also to not know me. For in this week of Coming Out Day, we must learn to accept who are are, who every one is and love them for who they identify as, even wen they don't know how they identify. I mean I identify as Ice Man King Parsons, but if he was a woman... whatever you want that to mean, cause I sure as hell don't and that's me in a nutshell (now get me out of this damn nutshell, it's scary in here).
written for <lj user=therealljidol> LJ Idol presents Literary Prize Fight Week 2
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|Thursday, October 4th, 2018|
6:55 pm - "It's hard to beat a person who never gives up"
I dripped through the pain|
Anguish rising, my heart pounding
It happens regularly since that day
I've always been a statue and a beast
Destitute to displaying emotion publicly
The big shoulder for all till alone
The good old song goes
you get knocked down, you get up again
Hit me, you can't hurt me, suck my kiss
You can also try to choke me out
hurt me like an animal
I stare you down like a stone cold fox
Unfeeling, unknowing, never deterred
Till I'm back in my own personal womb
then the break down comes
like a river it flows
I float down it
till once again facing you
eyes set, unmoving, prepared
come at me, I beg of you
It's your funeral
Mine will come one day
but not by your hand
I can die, but I will never surrender
(songs referenced: RHCP-Suck My Kiss (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6jElKMMOWM), Chumbawomba - Tubthumping (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2H5uWRjFsGc)
Written for The Real LJ Idol on DreamWidth. Week One, topic One.
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|Tuesday, September 25th, 2018|
2:18 am - The Real Dreamwidth Idol
I'm doing this thing!|
The Literary Prize Fight from LJ Idol!
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|Friday, February 23rd, 2018|
1:12 am - Hi
I'm not dead.|
That is all.
If you miss me?
Twitch: RHCooper (I sometimes stream)
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|Wednesday, July 5th, 2017|
4:19 am - If you bet on me, you bet wrong!
You lay your chips on the roulette wheel, you say hit me on the blackjack, you toss out numbers in the lottery, you choose your winner by name. Sometimes you choose stats or experience, or just randomly, but your chances at walking away richer are pretty slim to none, especially when you bet on me always having a perfect wonderful life.|
On Friday morning June 30th 2017 I went to Stamford, Connecticut to spend time with long time friends. I've known Pam since I was 15, she worked with my mother and despite her being 25 and my mom 45, she became very close friends with both of us with totally different relationships. I saw her get married and through her three daughters, now aged soon to be 17 and soon to be 12, who I've babysat, taught, hung out with, learned from and all the good things. It's been wild times, interesting times, crazy times, wonderful times. They moved down to New Zealand about two years ago and I haven't seen them in person in that time, so all the time I could take being with these 4 women and one man (it took a long time for me and the husband to become friends, but we did) who make me smile, I was taking it.
That evening while we stayed in the husband's father's home throwing a big BBQ, watching an amazing early fireworks display, enjoying company, swimming in a pool and just being happy was a stolen moment of joy. As was the next day after waking up and spending as much time as possible before returning to reality.
When I got home reality crashed into me like freight truck head on collision. My computer's hard drive completely died. When I say dead, I mean dead. If I got a new drive it would need to replaced in a system that while top of the line 5 years ago was now pretty damn obsolete as was also housed in a case in which so much labor was involved to just get the harddrive out if someone else other then I had done it was easily a $500 job. To then repair and get the computer back to snuff would've cost at least another 300-500, basically as as much as buying a new system and with maybe only a year left before something else failed, if something else hadn't already a choice was made. The system had actually suffered what is called as blue screen of death followed by an imminent failure as seen below as I discovered while shopping and surveying what to do at multiple stores in town. While I could have ordered a system online I am still iffy about certain things in that manner still and electronics at this level is one of them
That Sunday I ended up purchasing what is known as Omen by HP. It's a juicy system and upgradeable, but at $1100+ after taxes and insurance just in case that won't be happening soon for this system. A brand new computer means a lot of set up though and that occupied most of my energies Sunday and Monday and by Tuesday I was still trying to recover from the topsy-turvy of the high of Friday/Saturday, the down of Saturday night/Sunday morning, the crazy of Sunday afternoon-Monday night that pretty much anything related to say Livejournal took a divebomb. On top of that I had already scheduled Tuesday night for my mother as we rarely get time together and that just dovetailed into me making one of two decisions. I could drop out of Livejournal or I could deliver a life story, filter it in with photos along the way, but I must warn you if you thought you were going to get an amazing, over the top, "oh my god greatest entry in Livejournal history" from Reid Harris Cooper this week, you probably made the wrong bet.
You didn't just lose the farm, you lost the bank, the bank's kids, the cow, the cow's milk, the kids that drank the milk, the school that served the milk to the kids who ditched school to visit the farm that was now gone, they were also the bank's kids who proceeded to crash the car you also lost and on top of that you even lost the whole kit and kaboodle and the kitchen sink. You do not pass go, you do not collect $200 and you might even go straight to jail. That's the way that cookie crumbles, but I sure do hope you like looking at fire works.Fireworks are pretty... mesmerize yourself with fireworks.
written for Week 23 -Backing the wrong horse (I'm the horse) (and I edited this in some weird LJ online editor cause I didn't have SeMagic installed yet, and then I re-re-edited in Semagic
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|Saturday, June 24th, 2017|
2:18 am - Her eyes were dark and piercing.
I can see ghosts. Not like the traditional way one can see ghosts in films or the way they CLAIM on reality shows. I can just see them. If there's a ghost in a space, I can see it. I can sense if it's a friendly or unfriendly spectre. I don't have this happen often, but mostly because there are less ghosts in the world then people think. I also only find myself in places where they would be stuck and earth bound on very uncommon occurrence.|
One such was on Staten Island at the abandoned facility known as the farm colony. There is a ton of history to the location which would allow for many lost souls to be stuck there. An actual colony in which immigrants were put to work in exchange for room and board, a tuberculosis quarantine, a mental asylum, the location where two noted serial killers supposedly did their work crawling through the woods and the underground and a long time standing ruin for graffiti, paint gun wars, bum crashers, and urban explorers. Soon most of it will actually be razed, or reconstructed into housing, but when I went. The multiple times I did, it was just a den of ubiquitous other weirdly sensation with art and history quaking through its walls.
Many of the buildings is a quiet solitude. You can sense much had happened there, but nothing foreboding. You could walk through without fear of losing your life if you just stepped carefully. With enough sunlight you could see everywhere and take amazing photos. If you're lucky you might even go when others are there too, making it an adventure meeting fellow risk takers. I say risk takers as it is was and is a huge no trespassing zone. Even more so now that the property has been actually bought instead of just existing in the middle of the island unused, just a ton of land and structures sitting of days gone by.
On one trip there though there was a building that impenetrable. Not by a door or a blockage by a force. My exploration partner and I turned on our flashlights and stared into the darkness ahead of us. We could see the stairwell that would lead us from the basement to the higher floors. Yet, we could not enter. We would try but something pushed back. Not any something, a specific something. A thing that did not want to be disturbed from its final resting place.
We went back out and looked around trying to make sense of it all. I felt the force more then my partner. He just knows to trust me if something just feels... wrong. I'm looking at the building and look in a window. Then I see her. She's very young. I wouldn't deem her pretty, cause can apparition be considered such, but you can tell had she grown to be older she'd had a of attention thrown her way. She looked both sad and angry. As if she wishes she could open the window or tear down the invisible forcefield, but was too scared. She didn't like being stuck there but also didn't like anyone else being nearby. The infinite loneliness of knowing some could see her and she could see all, but none could ever touch her, or truly speak to her.
I wonder what shall happen to her soul if they fully tear down the building. She'll it seep into the ground forever emanating through the structures. What is built new above never truly cleansed of everything that came before. What of the other souls stuck there, the murdered, the broken, left behind and forgotten with no white light. Shall this farm colony always be a place one dare not tread, no matter how much it calls to you?
written for therealljidol - Week 22 - Turn Back or Forge Ahead? - Trespassers William
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|Thursday, June 15th, 2017|
5:13 pm - Art Destroyed By Nature
Ruin porn is photographic imagery of buildings |
that have dilapidated so much they look like ancient relics
as nature takes its natural form and regrows around it
Very frequently these abandoned structures will be covered in graffiti
Older classic architecture of course left undone such as the coliseum in Athens
One day this present time will become a ruin porn itself
and in cities like New York, Philadelphia, San Francisco
that have adopted murals and graffiti not as vandalism but as beautification
shall become new worlds of destination for photographers, adventurers,
daredevils and explorers alike.
What will they make of the imagery created of this time
as rain peels and chips
Young artists more interested in themselves then history
sloppily place their names over
the remnants of the intricate aerosol and paintings
some 100s feet tall peeping out
as a reminder of the world that came before
Only the art will know of the day the rain came so heavy
that the rail bridge broke
the train fell over killing thousands
as it rolled over and over
on top of residencies
then retail stores
then crashing through the ground all the way
down into the subway platform
creating a domino effect
not just throughout one city
but the entire country
then soon the entire world
That's all it'll take
a fly landing on a chipped barricade
causing structures to fall much like Tetris
without a place to land
a dog pissing on a hydrant so hard it rusts it shut
so when the firemen need it that one drastic day
the universe gets engulfed in flames
Till that fateful time
Admire the world behind you
Endure to make the one in front of you
Inspired by the article "Forest Hills murals damaged by water" published on The Queens Chronicle from June 8th, 2017.
written for therealljidol Season 10- Week 21 - Current Events
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|Tuesday, June 6th, 2017|
12:27 pm - LJ Idol Season 10-Week 20-Open Topic (A return to what it was like just being on Livejournal)
Back when I wasn't so ingrained in Twitter, Facebook and Instagram in sharing my daily life, thoughts, links, opinions and feelings I threw everything down into Livejournal. Sometimes I would get so busy with life I would have to keep memories, thoughts, notes and photos in a little corner to collect till I was ready to make a big journaling/memoring of the last few days. Earlier this week when Open Topic popped up I actually thought I'd do that for this weekend, no matter what happened, be it simple or crazy. Turns out it was a pretty great weekend/three days for that, so away we go. Join my adventure.|
Friday I headed out to an art exhibit reception called Digital Short Stories, put together by the MFA in Visual narrative from SVA. It's a intensive summer master's program that I'm taking keen interest in applying for next year. It's quite expensive, but from the work I saw simply from these first year students, there is tons of learning and creative happening. There were all mediums explored, comics, storytelling via painting, a visual interactive novel, false journalism, photography and film. These were the final works of the current first year students and they were seriously impressive. In terms of truly giving to the work and putting the most into it I was personally excited by three particular projects. If you had the financial position to be in the program, you'd hope/assume you'd have extra funds to really bring anything you create through it alive as you are developing a portfolio that can live forever. Here are the three that really caught my eye.
Kenny Nam's Phobia Clinic- a motion comic about superheroes, dreams, therapy, etc. which he had also printed bookmarks for, showed the makings of someone who came into comics as a second career but definitely someone I'd keep an eye on for the future.
Jenny Bee's Equivoque – an interactive visual novel about magic and illusion, available on the iTunes App Store for iPads and also on Steam Greenlight awaiting approval (up vote it). Jenny also created promo cards with each card doubling as a playing card, as well as pins.
Roda Althani's Clipperton Island – a collection of photos, videos, and memoir turned into a lovely digital format about one of the survivors of the tyranny of Alvarez, self proclaimed king of Clipperton Island. While this story has been told many times and many many ways, Roda's visual interpretation through the journal is captivating. She also printed up lovely postcards of other images that have captured this amazing story that deserves multiple telling.
While there I spent time discussing the work with the students as well as the lead teacher of the program Nathan Fox, just getting more and more of a feel while I await some financial news that will determine a lot.
Afterwards I headed to Trader Joe's where I got a share of excellent goods, then walked over to my good friend David's for some alone talking time before his big yacht birthday party the next day where we wouldn't get to talk as much, it being a party after all.
Spent most of the morning reading and then watching the season 3 finale of GOTHAM so when it aired on Monday I could enjoy it in another way. Then I had to get to the city though to meet up with David and the other birthday girl Adrienne and her husband Mike and assist with food shopping cause that's just something I'm extremely good at, picking items, knowing prices, quantifying size to cost etc.
From there we got on the ferry to Jersey to catch the Yacht. It was a perfect, beautiful day for a three hour tour around the Hudson river. Traditionally tours on the amazing Yacht Justine are fully catered, but this birthday party was end of the day special favor from the owner to the birthday guests after a full day of giving cruises, to be followed by a pool and spa party at the yacht owner's house. We had a great crew of folks, we danced, we talked, we danced, we ate, we took in the views, we danced, it was an amazing time. I spent a lot of time getting to know one of the folks I didn't know at all in Antoinette and she was pretty cool.
She drove me over to the party after and because she wanted to grab a bottle of wine we stopped at a liquor store along the way where I got to scope a kind of hidden off the path amazing mural by Ekundayo.
More amazing conversation and fun was had by all till around midnight where I was very happy and lucky to get driven to a train station near my house and catch a train and the LAST bus of the night so I didn't have to do the mile walk home after 4 hours of dancing on a boat and more.
The weather was no where as good as Saturday. It even rained a bit. Yet, I got to spend time with my best friend and “brother” Nick and my “sister in law” Terri. We stopped at a greenery and picked up plants and herbs for planting which we then proceeded to do back at their place. Nick and I also took an old grill and with a lot of maneuvering removed the gas part to just turn it into a perfect grill for coal/wood, natural style over the summer when it gets hot enough.
After all that and just random hanging and watching dumb stuff we eventually found a flick to watch on Netflix
Headshot from Indonesia. Supposedly the star is from some popular Indonesia martial arts series. I have no clue. I just know the film was a live action cartoon (although not from a cartoon, just the style). Crazy over the top fights, illogical romance, plot holes, good acting and lots of fun.
We paused the movie at one point because it was 8 or 9 PM and we were super hungry so we headed out to get dinner. Hit up this place called Tikka over on 30th Ave (Astoria, Queens), not too far from their house... about a mile. Really tasty Indian, we all really enjoyed it. That and finishing the movie when we got back made it a pretty fulfilling evening.
When I got home around midnight or so I decided to watch the WWE wrestling PPV that had aired live earlier that night. By not seeing it when it was on I could just fast forward, which was nice. I got to see some bits I enjoyed and skip forward whatever bored me and it let me know what was going on in my drug addiction show.
A weekend of networking, adventure, action, good food, great friends. If only every weekend could be that way, or every day. Yet, if it was, when would know it was better to appreciate it?
written for therealljidol, but also for me, you and everyone else
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|Wednesday, May 24th, 2017|
11:44 pm - You Are Cordially Invited To
Take a look inside my mind|
You might not like what you may find
Secrets buried deep behind
I'll let you in but I won't let you out
welcome to the maze inside the puzzle
wrapped in the enigma surrounded by the labyrinth
built inside a house of horrors
disguised to look like a castle of fantastic dreams
flowers of beauty, their thorns only revealed
when it's too late and you've been pricked
What lies here in the recesses
stays there, like skeletons in the closet
you shall not find the key
We all have our frivolities
such more trivialities
make-up only hides
the real glamour trying to
Pass the bottle
for it's a party
everyone gets a turn
to commit some kind of crime
life's too short
and full of rich tapestries
to not pull on the threads
and claw your way to the ceilings
swing from the chandelier
is what they say
spin so hard you crash
straight into the sun
You won't burn
or fade away
legends aren't born
the story didn't write you
character is more than dna
they come crashing down
like jenga made of lego
you just build them back up
different stronger better stranger smarter weirder
Locked in the carousel
I'll keep it fun
written for therealljidol-Season 10-Week 19-Invitation
side note: "Life's Rich Tapestries" by Modern English... a song that I grew up on.
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|Thursday, May 18th, 2017|
1:44 am - If You Can Make it Here... (you can't make it anywhere, but maybe?)
Living in the destination capital of the world (according to some), New York City, means many things. Major bands come to play here and getting to the arena is never too hard, but it also means tickets may cost more then anywhere else. Major conventions happen here too, but they're also super pricey. Restaurants of every kind of menu and food you'd like. They exist as well, but for some you better be okay spending $25-$75 a person for one meal. |
There's plenty of free stuff though and amazing experiences. Especially for a resident who signs up for an iD Card. Free admission to all the zoos and museums for a year, with a chance to sign up for a super discount at the end. On top of that though is just basic awesome free stuff. Looking at my next four days alone we got a huge van designed to look like Rick of Rick and Morty making two stops in Brooklyn in front of places who will be selling food i& drink inspired by the show. The food isn't free, nor is the exclusive merchandise in the van, but the photo opportunities are. On Friday, the same channel [adult swim] that airs Rick and Morty is presenting a free party of the second season of Neon Joe Werewolf Hunter with episode airings, cast appearance, live music and giveaways and more surprises they say. On Saturday there's a big street festival with live music and local quality restaurants serving under $5 fares as part of a birthday celebration of the area's local market. Then on Sunday, the stop and swap, a program every year where I add a ton of great books, cds, and more to my already too big collection swings by locally. I've actually scored some amazing items for free at this event. One man's “garbage” is another man's treasure. Full comic collections, old video games, an electric crock pot, awesome stuffed creatures. I rescue them and give them a new home or at least try to.
Now where I live locally isn't totally considered a great location. While I am in walking distance to a zoo, a park, an art museum, great restaurants, two big malls, and even a place where major wrestling shows take place... it is still not considered a destination location. None of Queens is considered as such despite it being one because of all it offers.
The reason for this is because its “too far” from everything else. When in reality its only a half hour, in people's minds, it's 2-4 hours away.
I understand this though. Basically other than the swap meet it'll take money & distance & time to actually get to places in the vast space known as one of the best locations ever. It's a misnomer though. Brooklyn is far from Queens. Unless you have a car, but then you have to find parking and then the parking you'll find is so far from your final destination you may as well have just stayed home or just walked or taken a train.
If given proper opportunity I would move from New York in a heartbeat. It'd have to be certain places though. I don't want to start driving. I still need crazy opportunities like this weekend at a moment's notice. So basically Philadelphia or San Francisco. Nothing else would really fit.
Even then though would come the fact that many cool things in PA are not in Philly and you do need a car to get to places like amusement and water parks, smaller towns where great shows happens and the such as the public transportation option is ridiculous. Although one probably could survive in Philly on its lonesome. I know my brain though, I'll find regrets. In San Francisco, while getting around the town is awesome, you'd want to experience wine country...so you need someone with a car. Also sometimes you'd want to go to L.A. But it's actually easier to get from NYC to Boston or Philly than it is for SF to LA. We're talking six hours by car, 13 hours by bus. California is a long long state. Imagine if it was compacted? Everyone would move there so fast if it was just LA, SF, SD within a half hour to an hour apart.
So I guess living in New York City has its perks. It really is a great location to live in. Options galore.
Although I must state... my best prospects for a relationship have all been in other states... so... location versus distance is still a factor that can get to my soul.
I have friends in NYC, but I have friends all over the place and at times, most times, many times, the friends who would leap at the chance for some of the things I do in NYC live in Philly or San Francisco and even Philly isn't just where you can jump and leap. It's close, but it's not THAT close. Especially figuring either bus or if by car, gas and tolls. It adds up. Unless you're getting paid money when you get to either place it's still a bump in that wallet. It's something to always consider. Even myself with this 4 days of events. While everything is free, it'll still cost upwards of $100. Minimum of $20 if I don't eat, don't buy anything, don't get a drink. Which is possible. It can be done, but it's just a lot less fun and makes taking advantage of being at a location almost worthless. I mean we're talking about a special pizza based on the first episode of season 3 of Rick and Morty. Then a special Rick and Morty cocktail. At the street festival, special treats from special restaurants. Can't not try something. The Friday event should only cost me getting there, but who knows who I might meet? Who knows what could happen after? Must always be prepared for everything and anything when you live in a city that never sleeps and neither do you.
written for therealljidol - Week 18- Topic "Location, Location, Location" - Partner: encrefloue
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|Saturday, May 6th, 2017|
10:51 am - Where and How I Live
My father's Parkinson's got him to a state of mostly wheelchair bound, needing constant assistance and care around the time I was 25 years old. At that time in my life I constantly had an inner battle with myself of moving out on my own and possibly feeling crushing guilt for years or sticking around and helping my mother with this very arduous task. It meant changing my father's diapers, walking him from room to room and more depravity then you want to imagine in being a caregiver. It is an unforgiving position, but one I put myself in. I do not regret choosing to stick around, because who knows what answer or outcome was right? |
At a certain point my parents were planning to move to Florida and I would take over the nice 2 bedroom with sunken living room and plenty of space in an easy low rent area of Queens (at the time, now its skyrocketed). Unfortunately my father's health was never strong enough for the move, so I stuck around more. When my father passed I was 30 years old, had a well paying job and had just broken up with a long term girlfriend (actually I was dumped out of nowhere without explanation and no true answers to this day, but that's something else altogether and it was never a healthy relationship to begin with even if it lasted months).
My father's death broke something in me that till now I still struggle to recover. It's this unknowing thing, this mental block that even therapy has yet to fully reveal. That well paying job suffered from it though and was soon gone. Money wasn't a huge problem, so after this I could've moved out on my own, but my mom equally needed me. Her health was fine, but she was now a grieving widow and at the time still under 70, so plenty of life still to live.
She also I believe felt a type of guilt because of me taking the burden of dad on my shoulders and then the apartment not becoming mine when they had to stay for his health. Hence having me stay around was basically a ballast for us both. Finding a nice sized apartment in NYC with a roommate you don't want to kill isn't easy. I have best friends and I think if we lived together I would have NO friends within 2-3 months. Parents are different. They might not like the way you live and you might not like their habits, but you've gotten use to each other. You accept each others habits even when they drive you nuts. You'll fight and bite and fight and bite, but in the end you'll come back together. I know this isn't true with many families, but it is with mine.
For the last eight years I've hoped the call would come from Hollywood, or another state. Better yet I would've found the significant other, as my mom has been lucky to do. Then I would fly the “roost” and figure out the craziness of living alone. Although, as my mother now spends most days at her significant others place fairly far from home I have the bachelor life, so it is like living alone with a roommate who comes by once in awhile and having any other roommate who cared about dirty dishes, garbage and sweeping but only did those things themselves once in awhile.
For now and the currently foreseeable future it's a satisfying situation, we help each other out, the rent stays low as she's still a legal resident here 3-4 days of the week, a senior citizen and lived here for 40 years. She keeps clothes here and a bed, so it's her apartment that I get to occupy as her son and it's a working system for all parties. I know that she wishes I found that dream job, that dream lover and went off to that dream life. I also know she understands the reality of both NYC and the world in terms of real estate, employment and finding love. I don't understand any of it, but I know it's hard.
So I live in the same place I was raised. It's slowly become my place, as books, games, toys, and more have taken over the living room, the foyer and the master bedroom that is mine. The kitchen is my domain since I have the culinary training. The financial situation of it all is a bit more complicated. I pay my share in my way and in return I have a roof over my head, which is all some of us truly ask for in this life. A roof, a place to lie your head and some food.
written for therealljidolWeek 17-Blind Box-Topic 1-The Rent I Pay
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|Wednesday, May 3rd, 2017|
1:26 pm - A Life In Performing
My acting career has been a strange, wild and crazy turn. Parts of it just seem like fantasy because of where I am now in my life. The pieces don't truly add up. The people I've met, the people I've worked with. The places I've gone, the things I've seen and done. If you threw all the equations into IBM's Watson or the Super computer in The Hitchhiker's Trilogy you wouldn't get an answer that said me...or my life now. You wouldn't even get something simple like 42. No, there's no way you get the almost 40 seeking work, struggling for money, always single, dealing with crazy friends, unsure of the next step me. |
My first major screen role was non speaking, but a prominent feature in a commercial for Continental Airlines. I was the young kid really upset a new baby was coming into the world and wanted to beat it up. My grandfather was played by the dearly departed Jewish comedian Fyvush Finkel. The baby had all the dialogue, a voiceover by Lorenzo Music, famous for Garfield, Peter Venkman in The Real Ghostbusters and more. Not long after that commercial, I landed a second national campaign for a product that didn't last on the market, through no fault of me, the product was just not good, it was known as the Hershey's Brownie (pre-packaged). They were way too sweet in the Little Debbie format.
From there things kind of nosedived, but not completely. In Junior High I was the star or major part of a production all three years. The robot in some original play the cast wrote, the king in Pippin, and the major comedic roles in Bye Bye Birdie as The Mayor and Ed Sullivan. I was probably the only one who could actually do an Ed Sullivan impression. During JHS I got a share of extra work which put me on set with many actors and directors. Being the kid I was I found a way to meet and talk with them through forced chance or circumstance. David Caruso on China Girl, Bruce Willis and Demi Moore on Mortal Thoughts, Joyce Chopra on Lemon Sisters, Danny Aiello on The Pickle.
As I entered high school work slowed down just a tad, regulated mostly to the summers, but one job in particular always sticks with me. My almost two month stint on the sets of A Bronx Tale. I learned poker from the mob, had long conversations with Chazz Palmintierri and Robert deNiro, found out I was taller then Joe Pesci (and I was a short kid.. I was 16 standing in for 8 year olds). When I ended up leaving my first high school and going to an alternative one acting took a bit of back burner as I was in internship programs which took up a lot of my time. I'm pretty sure I got an extra role here and an extra role there along the way, but it only picked up slightly after highschool and before college.
It was that year between graduating and then deciding to pursue college that I worked as a stand-in for Ben Stiller on Flirting with Disaster. That meant working closely with David O. Russell, who was the guy he's been portrayed to be, but I also got to hang out with Patricia Arquette. Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara visited the set and took a quick liking to me, so we hung out for a bit. It's actually a bit hard to judge which experience was better between that and A Bronx Tale. Although the Pickle was pretty high too, since that was also when I spoke with Paul Mazursky , met Donald Trump for the first time (okay, that's not a good thing to many I know), and had Isabella Rosselini as my mother.
When I was in college, film work took another back seat, but I didn't stop acting. No siree, not even remotely. I was in multiple productions throughout. Three Sisters by Chekov,
A Commedia Dell'Arte, an African soliloquy where I drummed, a series of solo long monologue performances, the 24 Hour Plays all three years in roles of directing, acting and writing and I even hosted a variety show where I finally started breaking into the avant-garde work I was truly born to do and a weekly poetry sit around where I continued that weirdness. I started working for a production company that eventually through my help became Theatermania which was an amazing experience.
After college on stage performance definitely took a head lead, performing weekly at the Bowery Poetry Club with a few appearances elsewhere, becoming friends with people of the slam scene like Taylor Mali, Cristin O'Keefe Aptwowicz, Beau Sia, Saul Williams, Mums and more. It was pretty excellent time period for sure because I was more me then any other. Weird, esoteric, unpredictable, out there, gregarious.
Acting roles came in there here and there during the last 20 years well. Enough at least to keep up my SAG dues and stay in the Union then to leave it and rejoin. I was a mental patient in Miracle at St. Anna where I got to be yelled at by Spike Lee just for breathing. I've played a prisoner at least twice... on Law & Order: SVU where I got to hang out with Richard Belzer and the pilot episode of Sneaky Pete with Giovanni Ribisi.
In all of it it's been a blast despite not getting me where I'd like to be. Throughout I've auditioned for bigger roles, but not as frequently as I should. A lot of my fire was killed over 25 years ago. I had gotten this close to playing Rocky Junior in Rocky V. I had even done an incredible screen test with Stallone. Avildsen loved me, Caro loved me, even Sylvester loved me, but I had no chance... the role went to Sage Stallone. To get so close and lose it all to the truth of the world of something basic like nepotism I think broke my spirit and I never fully recovered.
So I am here now, that man who has performed his entire life, while pursuing other dreams figuring out what the next dream is, while continuing to pursue all the ones before and just trying to enjoy the ride.
written for therealljidol Sudden Death - Open Topic
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|Thursday, April 27th, 2017|
4:18 pm - Shooting Star Leaping Through the Sky Like a Tiger
When I think of a thunder clap... that crashing sound of the sky preparing to open to gushing winds, flashes of sudden light in many colors... I can think of one thing and one thing only.|
Not a thunderstorm, not a hurricane, not a tornado sending me off to the land of OZ. No, my ears hear cymbals blasting... the cleanest voice calling forth a hero by the name of Flash Gordon.
I can think only of John Deacon, Roger Taylor, Brian May and Freddie Mercury, the combined forces that called themselves simply QUEEN.
A band the defied genres and by defied I also mean defined. Disco before there was disco, new wave before there was new wave. They birthed the opus of rock operas with Bohemian Rhapsody which doesn't mention a thunderclap but a thunderbolt.
If any group of musicians created sounds and worlds that allowed one to branch out... much like a thundering sound bolt followed by a clash of lightning and a torrent of rain drops and wind in all directions it is and was Queen.
The name itself embodies so many movies and television shows. From Iron Eagle to WWF's Saturday Night's Main Event to Wayne's World to Hardcore Henry and even the final episode of BBC's modern retelling of Sherlock. They have become embedded in culture inherently.
Under Pressure, Slightly Mad, Radio Ga-Ga, everyone knows these songs. Your grandma who only listens to Lawrence Welk, your mom who couldn't tell the difference between Megadeth and Metallica, your elementary school principal who acts like he hates Twisted Sister and at night dressed up like Dee Snider while visiting dominatrix clubs. Your dog, your cat, your iguana, hell, even your aborted fetus knows the words to “We Are the Champions” and could even audition for The Voice and win the damn thing with a cover of “We Will Rock You”.
Queen's influence is so far reaching that there's absolutely NO way “There Can Only Be One” would've reached it's pinnacle of understandable conception and meaning without “Who Wants to Live Forever”.
There was even a graphic novel by a long time friend of mine Mike Dawson, which was about his relationship to Queen and how it shaped much of his young life called Freddie & Me.
Of course they were a huge influence on me as well. Any vocalist worth their mettle tries their best to borrow from Freddie. Any front man who realizes he can't get the vocals tries to capture that presence. That being flamboyant, yet macho attitude. Above it all, yet down to Earth. A god among men, a men among Gods.
Then you got John Deacon, the perennial odd man out amongst the parade of cool. Brian May with his long hair and colored button downs, collar up, opened to the chest or track jacket and scarf. Roger Taylor with his blonde locks, just a definition of calm and collected. Deacon was the dude in the full tuxedo with no flair, the sweater vests and the tacky shirts with no irony, yet he still fit in with the odd group.
I will never be Deacon, Taylor, May or Freddie Mercury, but it doesn't matter... because I can still be rocketship on my way to mars on a collision course, a satellite out of control, a sex machine ready to reload like an atom bomb, I'm gotta explode... so don't stop me now, cause I'm having a good time.
And for fun to your ears, eyes, fingers, toes, legs, arms, head, or whatever nerve endings respond to magic, a little personalized Queen playlist a bit in order to the text.
Written for therealljidol Season 10-Topic 16-"Thunderclap"
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