An Urgent Request. I Need Help. [2/365]
I have been thinking about this for a week. This is one of the weirdest and most awkward posts I've ever had to write. I tried writing it yesterday, but oddly it became a challenge to myself to begin a daily post count. I just had to get past the slight embarrassment of not always having control over every aspect of my life. Tony Brown and Alex Charalambides were fantastic counsel on this issue for me. Thanks, boys.
Due to some unexpected/expected circumstances throughout 2009, I am well behind on all of my bills. I do not wish to go into all the details of why, but suffice it to say I
did not lose money at the tracks
nor did I splurge on hookers and blow. I can say that there is money still owed me from certain work in the past. I had built up a nest egg in 2008, then pretty much survived on it as the college gigs I have been getting slowed down with the economy. I made good income in 2007 and 2008 – nothing that advanced me into higher tax bracket – but enough for the IRS to “notice” this poet and certainly more than I'd made working at Kinko's.
The move to Worcester cost a little more than I expected, but wanting to live in a house and wanting to stay self-employed on the road didn't coexist the way I'd hoped. I spent all of 2009 re-educating myself on bills, rent and groceries,
on top of travel, merchandise costs and touring. Most of 2009 turned into tours that only paid for the tours. The occasional college gigs I did get kept me relatively afloat, but went immediately to flights and bills. Then this autumn was a financial bust. The first busted tour I think I've ever had. I don't regret the time I spent on the road – I never do – I just stayed gone longer than there were gigs. Thanksgiving and Xmas made things harder. It all piled up very quickly and I just could not catch up.
A recent snafu with my bank also has me up in arms, making this more dire than I had thought. I hoped all week that I might be able to coast through to February, but alas, I cannot wait any longer and must collect some monies today and over the weekend. I have no credit cards, never have. I am a check-to-check, cash-after-the-show kind of guy.
My bills are amassing and the idea of going to a few people for medium-sized loans didn't seem wise. Then I was reminded of
Muhammad Yunus, the developer of microcredit or microloans.
If I could get a number of people to
LEND me small amounts of money, I could very easily pay it back in short time. I never thought I would ever need to turn to my internet community of fellow poets, fans and friends to ask for financial help, but I realized that if I were to pay it all back, I wouldn't feel so weird and sad about it. I figure, shit happens...it's happening to me now. If people can help, awesome! If not...shit happens. I grew up low-income, I don't mind it. I just simply despise short-term debt.
The silver lining: I have several college shows coming up in the spring in which I will get paid well by them fully and directly. The first three of these shows are late January/early February. I would be able to repay these loans beginning in February. The notion that they were very small, short term loans was the only reason I decided to post this. I am so honored that I even have this many people to go to. A bulk of what I need to recoup for this month will go toward the two flights I need to book to get to these shows and to have a small amount of available cash for odds-and-ends. My total is around around $1,800, and I will immediately return money I no longer need and announce here that I've reached my goal/paid my bills. I will keep very specific records of who I owe and their total.
Don't break the bank to help me. I'd cap a loan at around $50-$100. I just really don't want any one person to handle the whole or large part of my burden. I don't care much for money. I don't like needing it or wanting it, but I do and I should right now.
In return, along with repayment, I would also like to offer to the loaners some help. The next time I am in your town, I will gladly do a chore in your home or a personal performance of my poems for whoever you have in attendance, but this is not an exchange of merchandise, it is merely a favor.
You will get your money back and maybe a version of Puddin' while I make you some pudding.
I like being open. This is just real life glaring brightly in my eff'n face.
And no pity please. I am fine. I am in very, very good spirits. I just need to get shit going and keep living for words. This year is off to a rollicking weird start and I am looking forward to living 2010 well and right. Lots of restructuring and reassessment. Makes sense.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR LOANERS
Send money via PayPal to ilikemike @ gmail . com ($100 max)
In the notes, please be sure to add:
a) Your full name and phone number
b) your current mailing address
c) your absolute deadline date for repayment (those willing to wait another month or two will make pacing easier)
d) any details or notes of your own
Thanks for reading this. I am honored. If you can help. I won't be able to thank you enough. This humble feeling will live in me until I die.
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Word to the nerd.
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