It was really good, but LouderARTS runs a little too long for my tastes, I'm just getting home about ten minutes ago. With Urbana I usually am home by 11:45 at the latest, sometimes I can make amazing time and be home by 11:15. Getting home at 1:30 though, not really for me. Back in college, it was fine, hell with Bulletspace I wouldn't get home till 6 AM sometimes, but usually around 4. I'm not that young anymore though, I'm 25, and I'm exhausted and starving. I haven't had a bite to eat since 5 and before that I hadn't really eaten. My feet also hurt. My brain is wrapped tight. My muscles hurt. It's all just craziness and I am dead to my body. I can't feel a thing.
Seeing Morris Stegosaurus
mstegosaurus, was wonderful. His set was ON. The open mic was also excellent, I took the stage with Hero Zero, which I discovered really really is much better as a music piece. I just couldn't hold it together, I flubbed words and all this shit, like I wasn't comfortable with the piece, and that might be the case, I feel it's a great written piece, but I can't make resonate with my voice and feelings. Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz went head to head in a poetry contest with Marty McConelly. Marty definitely has an amazing style and I always enjoy gbt-centric poetry. Since I was about 16 I'd say and discovered that side of me... which side you ask? The queer side.And that brings up the memories that seeing Morris can pull up. See, Morris left around the same time that the last boy/male I fell in love with did. Morris was also around during the time I met this boy and spent time with him and enjoyed his company, sitting alone in his little apartment, talking about this and that. This boy... who's name was Eric lived next door to Pam and Colin, and he went to Eugene Lang, and would come to Bulletspace and he became friends with some people and pissed off a friend of ours in a very strange and wild night. Eric was beautiful, intelligent, shining boy and I fell in love with him and as I understand he fell in love with me, but he couldn't deal with it. The age difference, the stress in his life and the fact that two weeks after we had a major talk, he left NYC for Illinois and nobody that I know saw him again. He was in the apartment the night of one of the most talked about events of the history of that crowd knew about. Him and Morris... and I think being there and even knowing that people he respected and thought well of could be even be involved in what no one will ever know the truth, scarred him, made him angry, made him want to leave. I think he was also not enjoying Lang, or New York as a whole, it was too big for him I think. All I know is, 2 years ago I loved a boy named Eric, and seeing Morris reminded me of those times. They don't make me sad, no, they make me happy, because for a short time there, I was very comfortable with myself and with him and it was wonderful while it lasted.
Looking forward to later today, hopefully it'll go off without a hitch, will report. Now for food and sleep.