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Friday, February 5th, 2016
3:46 am - This Is Something: A study in dark and light (a continued parable that is not one)


Mia sat on the roof of the building. Pretending she was on a beach. Allowing the sunset to soak her away. Gio had been gone for more than a few hours, but she wasn't letting herself worry. She was concerned, but she couldn't allow her self to actually let it overpower such a lovely moment. If she only knew that what she saw as a miraculous view was actually pure evil forcing its way through from one dimension into another. At least that's what Gio would say if he was there. A bunch of birds completely silhouetted against a fire red sky? Definitely demons from hell. That's the only answer. The worst thing was that Mia was starting to wonder if Gio was paranoid or was he on to something? And if he WAS on to something... what did that mean for everyone else?



Gio felt like he had been here before. He didn't know how or when, but as he awoke after what he wasn't sure he looked around his surroundings and swore he had been exactly here before. Staring at tunnels that went on forever. All he could remember was being pulled through a hole. Was that all in his head? Did he go into such a deep dark paranoia that in a fevered state of delusion he ended up under the city or did he actually get pulled into hades or another dimension by a shadow demon? From his vantage point it was impossible to tell. He only had one choice, actually two, since he had two directions he could walk but he had no idea which way he came so either one was a singular choice. He dusted himself off, brought a hand against his brow and stood for a moment.

A moment was all it took for a memory to flood into his head. He was seven years old hanging out with his older cousin Frankie. Frankie was twelve and loved exploring. One late night Frankie gave Gio his first taste of alcohol and then took advantage of his younger cousin's wiry body to climb over a fence and help him into the gates that lead down into the underground subway system. Rats crawled everywhere, up the walls, on the ceiling and across their feet. There was water everywhere in puddles, some of it from rain from cracks in the sidewalk or the grates left open so the steam and heat wouldn't explode the system, some of the water was probably piss though. It was very hard to tell what was which in such a dark place. Gio had no clue what Frankie wanted to do down here, but Frankie was older and smarter, or at least that's what Gio assumed. Frankie started making noises that sounded like a car tire letting out air and soon the space stank like nail polish remover. The noise stopped after about 2 minutes but the smell took much longer to evaporate. Frankie then took what had to be camera out of his pocket because then a light flash went off. Gio saw the wall for a moment and noticed that Frankie's nickname "Friz" was up there in blocky letters. Five seconds later Frankie told him to run as Gio saw more lights and a voice screaming for them get out of there!

Gio looked around a bit more and realized this was not that same space. It was very different. There were no rats, there was no water, and the walls were covered in numbers instead of unreadable names and artwork He put his hand against the wall and started walking in a random direction. He was shocked to find in no time a door that he was able to easily open which lead to stairs. He climbed slowly up, it still very dark and when he reached top another door. He opened it and inside he could barely see but he could hear.

"Hello Gio, what took you so long?"



It had now been over 48 hours since Gio had been gone. Things in the city had gotten crazy in that time. Mia made a phone call to Carmine shortly after hour 29 when the news reported large rat creatures standing over four feet tall being spotted downtown. Carmine picked her up and drove her over to his protected space and sent his men out to look for Gio. It was hour 33 that the reports mini explosions happening at various places that considered themselves holy or designed to worship a god rattled Mia into a state of panic. She started screaming at Carmine that Gio was right. He was right this whole time and now the world was ending and Gio was missing and they would all be dead as shadow demons swallowed them. Carmine injected her with a sedative and sat patiently but it was when he realized two days had passed and the news reported the dead walking the earth that he wished he'd listened to Gio himself.

Carmine turned the news off and felt the only way he could know what was happening for sure was to open his door. He woke Mia up and told her he was going outside. Mia begged to go with her so she wouldn't be left alone. They stepped outside and looked around at quiet streets wondering where was everything the news was reporting. Then they heard the skies making a sound as if they were laughing and looked up.



TO BE CONTINUED?!?!?!?

written fortherealljidol Rivals Mini-Season Topic 8- Chiaroscuro
(This new "chapter" was written as haphazardly and patchwork as the first at 2-3:30 AM when my brain works best. If you missed "part one" from Week 7 you can read it right here. The photos definitely inspired the action though. All these photos are ones I actually took over the years. There is NO photoshopping on them and the real life stories behind them are pretty fascinating as well. The sunset shot was taken after a long day of hanging with a friend doing graffiti on a roof. A nearby neighbor actually caroled the birds using some old school techniques, I have many shots of the birds. The tunnel shot was taken in an actual train tunnel, it's known as Freedom Tunnel and runs from 34th street up into Harlem. Amtrack and Acela use it. It is covered in some of the greatest graffiti ever. People used to live in the tunnel and many friends have been down there and I've been at least 4 times, but it's supposedly getting harder to go. The final shot? I have no clue. I think it's a weird selfie. I'm not positive. It was on my camera and I assumed it was that, but maybe I'm wrong, because why would I take a selfie like that? Maybe part of Gios paranoia entered my real life years ago and has waited to come out. )

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Tuesday, February 2nd, 2016
8:21 pm - Things I really wish people buy for me... like seriously
My paypal is rhcooper@gmail.com... these are things I wish people would just give me money to get cause I want them, but money is expensive... wait, you know what I mean

OXENFREE Collector's Edition

This game blew me away. The story is awesome and the gameplay is ingenious. You can actually have different endings and there's just lots to look at an explore. The collector's edition is amazing because it has actual real life use. A cooler, a stash can, the map and the ticket are just silly swag and the cassette is cute and might actually work different as a cassette then the mp3 edition. Seriously I want this thing.

FIREWATCH + Soundtrack bundle
This game from Campo Santo is one I've been waiting forever for. I was hoping/begging for a review copy but it never came. I want this game so damn bad. It looks so good. It just seems like it along with Oxenfree will be one of those games even years from now people will be talking about.

Violent Femmes - We Can Do Anything
After 15 long years the Femmes have a new studio album. New songs, new recordings, new new new.

The Serpent And The Rainbow [Collector's Edition]
One of Wes Craven's most ambitious and intriguing film taking a script that was mildly based on a non-fiction novel (despite claims that the book itself may be fiction) and turning it into a suspense thriller with Bill Pullman as your star showed how awesome Wes truly was. Now with a remaster and brand new retrospection even from the films influence Wade Davis this seems like a must have bluray.

So yeah... I want all that stuff and more. Yup. Especially Firewatch though. I don't know why but I really think it's going to be quite the experience and so much love was poured into it.

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12:55 am - Things and stuff if you don't follow me on Facebook or Twitter

Romance of the Three Kings 13. $89 on Steam. No English. Yup. Getting bad reviews too and not on the price or lack of English, just on being bad from Japanese people who can write English/Vice Versa.


Powerpuff Girls new logo! YAY!


Camren Biacandova might be the most beautiful female actress/dancer currently on television in the world.


First Seconds Books turns 10 years old this month. They asked fans, creatives, and media to take photos to celebrate. Here's mine.

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Friday, January 29th, 2016
3:38 am - It Was Something: A non instructing parable on nothingness
The road ahead was still. No cars on the road and yet Giuseppe dared not move. On the horizon ahead he could sense them. They were out there waiting with pitchforks and machetes ready to chop him into little pieces. The truth was no one was going to kill him. The paranoia didn't leave him. It was a prevalent intensity that had pervaded his entire life since he was twelve years old. The shadows threatened his soul. He spoke about it first with his father which probably wasn't the best idea. Being a hitman for the mafia who had recently turned state's evidence but refused to go into witness protection Alisandro had every reason to be paranoid and that just didn't help the mind demons attacking his son. Amping up that paranoia caused Gio as he was known to most to run away from home with his girlfriend Mia by the age of 15. She mostly comforted him but when she had the urge she would prod the paranoia and tell him she saw a shadow demon herself out of the corner of her eye and that they'd better run. Then she'd laugh and try to reassure him she was just having fun and he needed to relax as there were no demons or shadows or anything coming for him or for her. His father was already dead at this point and no vendetta was put on the family. He was told this everywhere, but the games from Mia got to him. "All lies and jest still, a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest."

So it would be... and yet despite always having to watch his back or being prone to panic attacks, Mia didn't leave him. Even when the panic attacks became frequent and dangerous. The worst incident was when they went to have a nice dinner at a simple Italian restaurant. While they were in a town where no one knew them and they knew nobody, the minute they walked in the hairs on Gio's neck started raising. Then as they sat every second got worse and worse as he started thinking everyone was secretly sent by his dad's ex crew to take him out. Out of nowhere he grabbed the knife off the table from his ordered steak which was indeed delicious. He leaped backward and pointed the knife right in the face of a woman who had to be 85 if she was a day. In Gio's fevered mind though she was the lead killer amongst all the strangers. Mia was frozen at first because she knew if Gio went further he would be dead any moment. Shot not because he was right and they were all mafioso's but because the local police had been called and they were a shoot first, ask questions later type. It didn't take long for her grab at Gio and pull the knife out of his hand. She knew the risk involved. Maybe the cops would come in and kill them both or maybe just her or the cops would still kill Gio and leave her alive and alone. None of that mattered. "When you live for someone you're prepared to die"

Fortunately on this day while Gio was completely paranoid there was a mafioso from his father's old crew in the restaurant. He knew about Gio's mental issues, about Gio running away from home, he was actually there when they killed his father. He didn't partake in any of the actual killing, instead he made a promise to Alisando that his death would be the end to it all. He guaranteed protection for the boy no matter what, where, how or why, the seed of the venom would never suffer if he or anyone else could prevent it. The man had just been visiting, his cousin five times removed was one of the chefs and made an amazing fettucini alfredo and he HAD to try it. He quickly got up from his table and shoved Gio and Mia down on the ground, then stood genially as the officers came in. Upon spotting Carmine Frederecci Jr. the officers knew to put their guns away and slowly walk out, they were not needed here and interfering would mean death and torture with no punishment shortly after. Some bad guys are just Untouchable.

Once the dust settled as to say and everything had calmed down, Gio and Mia were safely brought to a private room where "The Galavant" as Carmine was known could speak to them and hopefully once and for all clear up Gio's paranoia and thank Mia for her constant protection and love while Gio ran further from his problems instead of staring them head on. As Carmine spoke to Gio more and more though he could see the fever in his eyes. This destruction was deep set and would never go away. No matter how assured he was told to be. This wasn't just about the mafia. Gio honestly believe there were monsters out to get him. Not the mob, but dark monsters with red eyes hiding in the recesses of another dimension reaching out to grab him away at any moment. It was then that Carmine just checked on Mia's reserve. How strong was this love she had and could it last forever. More importantly though, was she prepared to do what would have to be done when the time came. Could she send Gio on his way and let the demons eat him alive when they could no longer be kept away. This was knowledge, strength and guidance. He told Mia the promise. He told Mia everything while Gio went somewhere else in the recesses of his mind. Mia was no longer just a lover ready to fall on the sword, she was a soldier in a war against insanity. "This is a gift, it comes with a price, who is the lamb and who is the knife?"

They moved into a modest little apartment. It probably had ghosts or at the very least mice. They could afford better, but they didn't need better. Gio at that point barely knew where he was. Mia by then had regulated herself to this life she had chosen. She knew at any time she could pick up the phone and call Carmine, but she also knew that asking for more then he ever offered; Asking for more than that protection would, could lead to more. Things that while Carmine respected her and he was the sainted of the evil, he was still just that a bad guy. He was a shadow monster, just the one shadow monster who wouldn't actually kill Gio. Not that anyone was killing Gio except himself. Inside this small one bedroom hovel with a simple car below Gio would sometimes find sanity enough to watch TV or even go to the store or drive to a movie. It was few and far between, but at least they had a home and it was so cheap that nothing really mattered. "The security deposit is non-refundable and will be retained by management as liquidated damages."

Gio revved the engine. He would not be afraid anymore. Mia waited at home. She feared these moments when Gio would be out on his own, but she knew he had to go. If it was going to happen it would happen and being there for it or not wouldn't stop it. It would make it easier for her even if she wasn't there to see it. As the car reaches a stop light, a black hole opened, pulled Gio through it and closed. Gio wasn't as paranoid as anyone thought, but in the end, nothing would stop them. Nothing can stop the shadows.

written fortherealljidol Rivals Mini-Season Topic 7- ALL SELECTIONS
(This was written in a patchwork manner. No pre-planning, no concept of where the story would go. No idea what characters would arrive or exist. Just a paragraph at a time, then a break and then just write more based on what was there. I hope you enjoyed it. I liked writing it, which should count for something.)

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Friday, January 22nd, 2016
5:52 pm - Adventures in "Sales"
I've had two major retail gigs. One took place in a very high end mall, the other took place in not a mall, unless you count the mall directly across the street or consider a department store that carries everything, has multiple levels and departments for everything including restaurants and the world's most famous Santa as a mall. They were both very different experiences, full of their highs and lows and the lows were low. The highs? Not so high, even though I enjoyed the work itself. I'm a natural salesman and hit above and beyond those needed sales required by a corporate entity who controlled your career without ever actually visiting the store to see what your work rate, skill or ability ever was. At least with one of the jobs I was hired by people who I actually worked alongside even if THEY didn't get to choose if I got the job or not, only suggest.

Neither position ended very great. Having never worked in retail my entire career of being gainfully employed since I was 17 I had to accept Winter/Holiday assignments for both. The first gig I landed happened in a very unusual way actually. I just walked in to check the shop out. After a conversation the manager asked if I was looking for work. I actually wasn't actively seeking a gig at the time but I thought this was a chance to try something new. An interview about a week later and suddenly here I was selling high end products across from Central Park with an amazing area around me. It was still a basic retail job. I cleaned, I sold, I ran a register, I packed, I delivered. I had a great manager, one awesome co-worker and one okay co-worker. It was a job. When the winter ended, it ended. It was upsetting not to be brought on full time but the volume they have during the non-holiday season is way lower than any else, and the corporate make those decisions of bringing on temporary to full. They don't care if you did a good job or not, they look at their budget, whose been there the longest, etc. and in the end for whatever reason that had nothing to do with skill, talent or ability I wasn't brought back. I would visit the store for awhile after as I had made a good relationship with that one awesome co-worker. Including store in Grand Central where he eventually was working, but it was a time in my life. I got to use some of my culinary knowledge and have an experience which counts for something.

All this has been preamble to that second gig. Like I stated, maybe you don't think of a large department store as a mall, but it's really run like one. While everything goes to a corporate and we're all hired by the same HR and you can find yourself working in any division at any time with little to no training, the place itself feels like a mall. It has Au Bon Pain, it has a classy Italian restaurant, they sell everything from kitchen supplies to beds to expensive leather coats. Getting hired for this seasonal position was an experience, and losing it was even more one. After passing a long online test you get called in to sit for an interview. After waiting forever and another "online" test but in person, you speak to people and "sell" yourself. Then you do that again. You get hired on the spot, but told they'll call you to tell you when you start training. That's about a month later. Training is about two days paid. It's even more arduous and crazy as trying to get the job itself. I think some people drop out even as they realize what the job actually is. You don't go from training to working though, there's still a delay of your actual start date. When I started working I would regularly find my name at the top of sales records for whenever I worked the section I was best suited for. There was one week where I ended up having to work in a division where making sales records is near impossible. The product was obscenely expensive and the goals were way above that. When I got to work in electronics, kitchen or candy though it was good times. Well, as good as a retail job during a holiday season in New York City dealing with all kinds of people can be. Co-workers were a major issue, as were my managers. None of it was good in retrospect. Yet had what happened hadn't I'd be happy to still be at that gig today. I'd be hoping I was paid more, but I would've enjoyed the job. It would force me into the city, make me head to the gym, and put money in my pocket. It wasn't to be though.

One co-worker was all it took to bring it all down upon my head and nearly send me to jail. I got into it once with this co-worker. The details are weird and crazy. Somehow he took me not saying 'Thank you' for something he wasn't actually supposed to be doing according to our laid out rules as a slight. It turned into a verbal battle which escalated into threats of physical harm to the other. There were no managers or even customers around when it happened. I mentioned it to a manager, but no one cared. No one was scalded, no one was reported. We both kept our jobs and since we were cordial I never thought of it again. Fast forward weeks later and I'm being pulled up into security. Not pulled, but asked. It is there I get questioned about some occurrence of robbery. I have no clue what they're talking about. It seems weeks back when a manager demanded that I leave my register account open so I don't lose all my sales and let the co-worker cover my register as I assisted with work that no one else other than I had understood in inventory allocation, that the co-worker proceeded under my name to try and do some gift card fraud scam believing that the security camera on us was non-functioning. Giving your account number to another employee is considered a major no-no by corporate but so is arguing with a manager so at the time I was caught between a rock and a hard place. Supposedly the theory was that I was involved, but an investigation proved me innocent. It doesn't matter at HR or corporate or even whatever security finds. I was temporarily suspended and then fired, even upon being found not guilty of any wrong doing. Better yet? I had some left over earned free money to use at the store and when I went in a few weeks later to spend it, my new manager who had taken over sometime between the never punished infraction of the other manager (she was actually just transfered and I think even promoted) and security suspending me asked where the hell I've been. Yes, that is how things worked there or basically any corporate position. You are not hired or fired by the people who ever see your work. They don't even know you've been hired or fired. It happens in a room with people who don't even know you are, what you look like or anything. They don't care, you're numbers to them... but not even that, as I was always on top of the sales records. They were I guess cover their asses... whose asses? I don't know, but someones. We're talking about 300 bucks in GIFT CARD fraud here. I had nights where I was bundling 10s of thousands ($10,000) in CASH at the end of the night of register cleanup. I could've easily found ways to steal that money and not get caught yet I get fired for not stealing and being fucked over by a shitty manager and a criminal co-worker. That co-worker was arrested and I never saw the manager again as I only heard about her being transfered and getting a new manager, but everyone and everything got swept under the carpet. That's how it's handled. It could have be worse, but it set me off from pursuing retail for awhile and then when I started again I thought I had to disclose it because they'd call HR and find out anyway. Which isn't true. HR is only ever allowed to say "He worked here, that is true".

Since that occurrence I've tried my best to never step foot in that store again. It's a silly boycott, but my own personal way of doing things. They actually have some awesome sales at times but I can live. Sometimes I've worried that the situation would stop me from ever wanting to go to ANY mall ever.

Luckily that hasn't happened. Especially since I live near two malls which are quite fun to visit. Either to just walk around in and people watch or hunt for bargains or even be aware of new products to hunt down for cheaper in other locations.

There you have it... some work history for me. This all happened within the last few years and I've sort of told the tale on Facebook but mostly only to friends in person. It seems weird to see it on the page. This actually happened. That insanity and weirdness. It's not some fictional fever dream, but my actual life. I feel like I'm leaving out important details too but maybe I am wrong. Maybe details aren't important. It's better for you to create your own scenario of physical descriptions and such. Yes, those details paint a clearer picture, but you have a time frame and a place and events, the people aren't as important. Well, except for me. I'm important.

I was very very very tempted to write an entire piece of Robin Sparkles and then on How I Met Your Mother and my life have felt connected but then this anecdote popped in my head from the word Mall and I wrote it. Still... Let's Go to the Mall is a great song... but you know what? Nothing Suits Me Like A Suit.


written fortherealljidol Rivals Mini-Season Topic 6- Lets Go the Mall and I can't even

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Friday, January 15th, 2016
1:40 am - The Infinite Looped to The Infinite
In the vastness of nothing
there was nothing
for there shall always be nothing
nothing is nothing for nothing
of nothing from nothing with nothing
but in the nothing they say came light
from light came something
something became life
life then had growth
growth lent to evolution
evolution produced cycles
cycles developed next stage
next stage birthed more life
more life eventually invented waffles
waffles are love
love is partially caring
caring causes concern
concern leads to worrying
worrying happens which reaches necessity
necessity becomes ridiculousness
ridiculous are organic waffles
</div>


In the beginning there was nothing... and then, suddenly there was something. Hold on one moment. Let's stop there and go backwards. There was nothing. When you have nothing all you can add is nothing. Nothing + Nothing= Nothing.

There is no beginning, per se. Therefore there can be no end. How can we begin? It was dark... then there was light. That's how it is said. From whence? How? This is the paradox. On New Years Eve 2015 I fell into this hole of asking myself this. I believed I'd created my own paradox even though the paradox collapsed within itself. How can you go back in time to the beginning? By doing so wouldn't you invariably cause everything to change? If so, then how did you get there to begin with?

BACK TO THE FUTURE touches upon from nothing comes something, by having entire time lines disappear and yet somehow they are still there. The Marty that returns to 1985 after he's done what he did is Old Marty! There's a New Marty... a new 1985 Marty who lived a completely different life then the Marty who went to 1955. Where'd he go? What happened? From nothing there was something... but there was something and it became nothing. Where'd nothing go? Nothing can't go anywhere. Nothing doesn't exist. If nothing doesn't exist, how can something exist? Do you understand what I'm saying? Because I don't. Ignore THAT paradox and try THIS one on for size. At the end of Back to the Future Part III, Marty does something based on information given to him by Jennifer which now causes the future they went to at the start of Back to the Future Part II to have never existed in the first place. Did they ever go to it? If they didn't... then, who still exists? Did Old Biff go back to 1955 and cause new NEW Evil 1985 to happen? How did he do that? New New 2015 no longer exists! So if none of that happened, did they ever even go to the Old West? They didn't... and yet... they did. Because the future hasn't been written. Yet, neither has the past. Nothing exists... everything exists.

In relation to nothing... this was written from nothing. Fingers to the keyboard, no thought before, no process. The poem, the words, and this little performance piece of "music"/acting embedded below as a Youtube video for you to all listen to and peruse and stare into my eyes. My eyes... are they filled with nothing? or something?



written for therealljidol Rivals Mini-Season Topic 5- Void (but also waffles, organic and pupa)

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Thursday, January 14th, 2016
12:11 pm - Mythical Beasts are not so Mythical
As the year marked two thousand and fifteen since the generation of the gregorian counting came to a close God said goodbye
He knew for two days he would leave the Earthy realm and drank enough of his best friend Jack to bade the time
Eleven days into the year next one of the first aliens to identify themselves went back in their spaceship
He had known he would have to leave for the aeons of galaxy space for some time
he prepared proper messages for us so that when he was gone we would have all the legacies
Then less than three days hence another alien departed. He was a magician, a villain, a gentleman,
pigeonholed by those who adored him, revered by those who truly understood

They all fought and lost to a mighty dragon
This dragon has slain young and old alike
This dragon cares not
This dragon inspired a virtual playable experience
Coincidentally or not releasing in the days between the day the dragon slew the thin white duke and the man who guided kings

In this life the dragon has take from us many
A wise and powerful sage who fought against a galactic empire
A deft and handsome dancer who fought with abandon
Beauty queens who fought against and alongside a legendary figure of the night
A king of horror whose voice could thrill us to no end
The list goes on and on
This dragon, this mighty and evil dragon, this dragon of no name, this dragon of many names
it'll take from us more
Near and far
Large and small
It cares not
It seeks only to hurt us
To pain us
To make us cry
Yet, fight this dragon we will
At every step... and hopefully one day we shall vanquish it
Another dragon may comes to take its perch
As is it has been since time began
Us vs The Dragon
Sometimes the Dragon can be a friend
but it is a rarity
but we wait for the skies will be clear and we shall be brave
and solider on

(- Reid Harris Cooper, 1/14/2016, inspired by the passings of Ian "Lemmy" Kilmeister, David "Davy Jones" Bowie, and Alan S.P. Rickman)

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Friday, January 8th, 2016
6:20 pm - Zuzu Petals... it's all about Zuzu Petals (oh and Jazz and Melodi and Smiley and Morris Day)
A koala bear hangs by a noose off a ceiling fan. This is a koala we have come to love as he's such an adorable little critter. Then the TV blows up momentarily knocking out the ditzy but really sexy and pretty girl. Then the hero notices his Jimi Hendrix stratocaster is missing. Then a delayed explosion from a microwave blows up the entire house as the hero and the girl run for their lives. Then the little kid who wants to be the lead's partner shows up all beat up and yells at the hero for being a selfish prick. Then the ditzy sexy pretty girl chipped a nail and it was the worst thing ever, worse then the koala, the TV and the house. Then the final nail, the 1957 Ford Fairlane 500 Skyliner explodes as well. That's all just the middle of the pure insanity that is THE ADVENTURES OF FORD FAIRLANE. Regarded as one the worst films ever made, but I beg to differ.

Now if you can't stand Andrew Dice Clay then well, you're never ever going to find a way to appreciate this film. Look past it though and then you get a fun noir detective comedy. Let's get back to Andrew Dice Clay for a second here though. Every little bit of Dice is here. Hickory Dickory Dock. You're a Poet and Didn't Know It. Some Famous Guy, I Fucked Him. Unbelievable.

I of course am able to look past it or I wouldn't be writing about this movie. I wouldn't be trying to expel my love for it. Hell, once I gave it to a movie reviewer friend of mine who had to take something ridiculous from a friend's collection. He just didn't enjoy it. That's not to say I'm crazy or he's crazy... we just on this didn't agree and never would. He actually hated it for the reasons I enjoyed it. Especially as his main dislike of the film seemed to come from Diceman and also an appearance from Gilbert Gottfried. Gottfried actually got to do both his super annoying voice and his regular one. He's another one of those guys though. If you hate him you're going to hate him. I don't, so therefore I find him actually perfect. Gilbert plays a fellow New Yorker who grew up with Ford to become musicians when they moved to L.A. together. When the band broke up, Gilbert's character became a shock jock ala Howard Stern, Opie and Anthony, etc. He screams, he shouts, he breaks records, yells at callers and gets in trouble. Then... he dies. Hilariously dies. His death is funny and shocking (cause he gets electrocuted... a shock jock gets electrocuted. GET IT!!?)

To further understand some of the excellence in the film which makes me love it best I shall describe the first major scene that happens after we're first introduced to Ford Fairlane. Vince Neil is on what seems the top of a mountain... he uses a zipline to hit the stage. He's in a crazy outfit. He gets lit on fire and then put out by extinguishers and launches into lip synching the Mötley Crüe classic "Rock n Roll Junkie" with a backing band that is NOT the Crüe, but a super group called BLACK PLAGUE. Also Vince Neil isn't Vince, but Bobby Black who suddenly dies. The Black Plague band though? Seriously if you know your rock n roll is quite the band. Carlos Cavazo of Quiet Riot on Guitar, Phil Soussan of Ozzy Osbourne, Toto, and after this film becoming a part of Vince Neil's solo band on bass and on drums Randy Castillo of Ozzy Osbourne (and then later on in 2000 as the new drummer for Mötley Crüe). Anyways, as Bobby and the band are performing he suddenly drops dead and this death is the crux forward of the film.

In time we meet Jazz, Ford's assistant, secretary, partner, and sort of girlfriend despite him being a total womanizer. Jazz is played by the sultry, sexy, vivacious, bodacious, curvy, cute, funny Lauren Holly. She wears outfits showing off her incredible body. She has some of the best and funniest lines. She also gets to be in a killer fight scene throwing a roundhouse kick. It's a special sight indeed. Jazz isn't the only character I fall in love with though. There's also Melodi, a random sorority girl who is extra special because she's portrayed by Kari Wuhrer of lots of hot nudity fame. Her character actually brings Ford and Zuzu to a sorority house full of a bevy of babes including Lala Zappa (who plays the other girl in one of my favorite films DREAM A LITTLE DREAM) .

Here I am talking about Jazz and Melodi and I haven't even discussed super cute Zuzu played by Maddie Corman, who wouldn't ever have a role like Zuzu ever again despite being a working actress, but I'll always love Zuzu. I don't know why. Even when rewatching the film just to write this a bit clearer I fell in love all over again. She's dumb, she chews bubble gum, she's a wise ass and she just... turns me on. I can't help what I like.

All that said though? I think my favorite character in the whole film has to be Smiley, the henchman of Wayne Newton's evil record executive Julian. Smiley is portrayed by the Nightmare king, Robert Englund. He puts on a fake Aussie/Brit accent. Says "Ello, Ello" A LOT and just doesn't want to die. Ford assumes he's killed him at least 3 times in the film, but Smiley will not die. Englund chewed scenery, did martial arts, and played to the camera in the ways only Englund has ever been able to do. In many ways his Smiley is the real reason to even watch Ford, especially if a bevy of hot babes isn't your thing.

Here's a drawing of Smiley I did once upon a time:


The film also features Morris Day.... of Morris Day and The Time in a pretty substantial role as a music producer. The ONLY music producer who Ford can stand. Morris actually puts in an okay performance here. It neither adds or distracts but he definitely delivers his lines well.

Another notable appearances is Ed O'Neil as a cop, which really isn't a big deal. When Ed wasn't Al Bundy or the patriarch of Modern Family or the crazy dude in Wayne's World he's been a film and television cop, usually at the level of detective. This particular character was a little different since he was also a former one hit wonder 70's disco musician who made the one white person disco song that Morris Day's character loved and they sing it later in the film.

Speaking of singing, there's a full on music video at one point in which Andrew Dice Clay shows he can actually sing as he does a cover of Clarence Carter's rewrite of Jimmy Reed's "I Ain't Got You". This song has been covered by The Animals, Aerosmith, The Yardbirds, Eric Clapton, The Blues Brothers, etc.

The movie also famously features Billy Idol's Cradle of Love and the original version of the music video has footage from the film. Supposedly Billy Idol was also going to play Smiley but was in a motorcyle accident which caused Renny to beg Englund. The "Ello Ello" part makes me think this might be true, but thank you motorcyle if it is.

Here's one more music note of a film that's ALL music. Josie and the Pussycats exist in the movie as a four piece band. Most notably featuring Pamela Segall-Adlon getting the best line of the four and showing the raunchy sexy older woman she would be many years later in Californication.

Here's some production notes:
Renny Harlin directed this. He also directed Nightmare on Elmstreet Part 4 (which is how he got Englund), Die Hard 2 (this movie got him that job), Cutthroat Island, The Long Kiss Goodnight, Deep Blue Sea, Cliffhanger and even the John Cena vehicle 12 Rounds (a movie better than people think).

It was patched together by Daniel Waters, who had written Heathers and would go on to script Tim Burton's Batman Returns, he also worked on honorable mention film HUDSON HAWK. He basically fixed a script and concept from James Cappe and David Arnott, who would go on to work on the other honorable mention LAST ACTION HERO. Although all they actually did was adapt the work of Rex Weiner, who unabashedly loves Ford Fairlane (his original story AND the film to this day).

Honorable Mention: HUDSON HAWK- This Bruce Willis/Danny Aiello vehicle has one of my favorite movie openings ever. While doing a\l heist they time the entire thing to "Swinging a Star" singing the whole song while doing their robbery. It also has David Caruso's best role ever, as Kit Kat, identical twins who are completely mute.

Honorable Mention #2: LAST ACTION HERO - The greatest of Arnold films. It has a cartoon cat. Stallone as Terminator. The one bad guy even crazier than Robert Englund in Tom Noonan's Ripper. Also... this song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwBJ_8VjMuE

Speaking of Tom Noonan, you should all see ANOMALISA (it would never fall into the category of THAT movie, since it's up for a Golden Globe)... but see it!

(and for anyone who though I'd write about The Room? You can go to hell Lisa... you can go all the way to hell. Fuck you, BLAM!)
written for "Friends & Rivals Mini-Season". Topic 4 "We All Have The Movie. The One We're Supposed to Hate. Talk About... In Depth. Spoil it and explain WHY you love it despite mostly everyone else." Special note... you can blame me for the topic, it's mine... that was why we came up with topics right? for the chance to write things you know you'll have multiple entries for?

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Saturday, December 12th, 2015
3:36 am - They come from a land down under
The aboriginal/native/bush people of Australia designed a weapon that could tossed like a stick and return it. At least that's how most understand it and what Wikipedia and history books tell us. The truth of the matter it doesn't matter. The weapon exists and has become part of modern pop-culture and essentially gone from being a physical thing to just being a saying/metaphor for things in life as a whole. It's inspired a ton of things. Comic book characters, the name of a television network, movies, songs, and other stuff I'm sure.

As awesome as the boomerang as it has come to be known is, I love MANY things from Australia. I'm actually an Aussiephile and much of my favorites come from that island. Here are just some of them. Maybe you'll learn something. Maybe you won't. Maybe you'll even learn something about me. If knowing what someone likes in pop-culture means you can learn something about them.

TURKEY SHOOT aka ESCAPE 2000 was for a long time just some wacky, pretty crappy VHS available here in America with cutting and well, being on VHS. In a now out of print DVD from Anchor Bay the film was finally restored to looking as beautiful as a low budget (but not too low) gore and nudity fest could be (which actually was pretty damn good). The film is complete insanity. In a prison in the future people are locked up for no reason in a co-ed habituation with showers and sleeping quarters and basically no privacy where they are abused and beaten. Then they are set lose so that super rich people can hunt them down for sport. This is the gist of the film. I shouldn't like it. It's ridiculous and over the top. The gore is obscene. A sort of wolfman gets torn in half, another dude gets shot by many arrows then ran over. There's shower scenes with full frontal nudity from men and women. There's no reason for these scenes other than to let you know men and women are showering together with basically no sexual tension cause they're more worried about being killed. I should feel thankful having this DVD because even on Amazon.com the main page offers it new for $50. There are others available from $19-21 but all used and from unreliable third party sources who will be fufiling the order completely on their own using Amazon's retailer resources. Still... if you never saw it? Hunt it down. Since Anchor Bay has chosen to take it out of circulation no one is losing money if you can find a torrent. (wink, wink, hint, hint). I should also state that not even in the 80's would a movie like this get made in America. Lots of nudity or lots of violence, but never so much of both in a film.

THE GRUEN TRANSFER aka GRUEN is probably my favortie TV show possibly ever which should come shocking as it is about something we all hate... commercials. Since 2008 the wonderful show hosted by stand-up comedian Wil Anderson and always featuring Todd Sampson. a personality and advertising executive and Russell Howcroft, a former ad exec who now manages an Aussie Television network with a revolving pane of two other advertising experts shows commercials, makes fun of them, disseminates and analyzes them with close and intriguing scrutiny. The program is funny, intelligent, educational, brilliant, biting and powerful and would never exist or be aired in America. Which it isn't. I've had to use various techniques from tricking streams to torrents to appreciate this amazing program.

While it would seem INXS only had one album hit hard in America with 3 singles that people ostensibly associate with the band in "Devil Inside", "I Need You Tonight", and "New Sensation" it wasn't their only album with U.S. hits, but it does make awesome albums (all that did come to the US) seem to fall to the wayside. The Swing is excellent, as is well everything. Michael Hutchence is simply one of my favorite singers. The Farris brothers are amazing song writers. INXS are/were an Australian band and they like a boomerang swung around and around but always came back.

Gruen also does that... although it never reached America, it reached me, then goes back then reaches me again, then goes back. It can do it as often as it wants. I don't want Turkey Shoot to boomerang (especially since there was a horrible remake or I assume horrible... it's a bad film.. remaking bad films is a bad idea...)

written for therealljidol "Friends & Rivals Mini-Season" as an alternate but not official entry for Topic 2 "Boomerang"

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Friday, December 11th, 2015
9:30 pm - Oh Hai There! On Wiseau, Cooking, Cartoons and using Topics to Go Crazy!
The ROOM is a cult classic and possibly one of the worst films of all time. It has gained Rocky Horror Picture Show interaction fame though. I've never been to one of the showing, but a big part of it is the throwing of spoons every time the framed pictures of spoons appears on screen.



If you've never seen The Room you're probably confused. It's really as simple as it looks in the clip there (or if you didn't watch the clip, reads before the visual proof). There are these photographs of spoons which are framed as if they are art pieces in the lead character's home. It makes no sense to anyone but the writer/directorTommy Wiseau. He explained it once, but it's more fun to just pretend that it's just Wiseau logic as the man is a phenomenon. People still give him money to talk, perform, and do things. He had a sponsored Youtube show where he played video games, a new film get fully financed and has become a cult celebrity who gets parodied and as evidenced has his first major effort shown in theaters with an interactive participation in a roaming tour. All by making a horrible film which has even had a video game adaptation.

The spoons in the room are not the only famous spoons that cause people to yell SPOON! along with a screen. Ben Endlund, a writer and producer r on the Batman inspired show GOTHAM and previously before that Supernatural and Angel created a comic character known as The Tick. This character would go on to star in a cartoon series as well as a live action series starring Patrick Warburton. Spoon is The Tick's battle cry. It's not much a war cry but it's The Tick's so leave him alone.



Interesting to the fact Warburton played The Tick in the live action series is that Chris McCullough of Venture Bros. fame (which features Warburton as Brock) got his start working on the comic book The Tick and then brought on the cartoon and then writing one episode of the live-action which is where he met Patrick and it all falls into place. Also Chris worked on a comics anthology called Monkeysuit and it was through that in which I first met him at the MoCCa Arts Festival. Venture Bros' had only aired a pilot and was still not fully picked up. Since then of course Chris has become a megastar as VB became a huge hit, but unless it's at a comic convention and he's with Doc so they have their whole shtick going I get to see him once in a blue moon (usually at an art event) and say hello.

A spoon is not just something in a movie or a cartoon used for some weird comedic/something or other effect to make one scratch their head and go "wha?!". They are also a utensil, you use them in the kitchen or to eat food. Did you know I love to cook? I'm actually a trained chef. As in actually trained professionally at a school where I learned skills which I then used in restaurants and private catering and now at home because I discovered that's the main place I like to cook. Private catering is fun sometimes still but working in restaurants is hell. I have discussed with my current business partners the idea of one day opening a restaurant or food truck together but we have so many other things on our plate that for now we'll enjoy just cooking for each other. I make a really good chilli, which you eat with a spoon. Terri, one of my partners makes a mean pho, you eat that with a spoon. She's Vietnamese also, but she's just good in the kitchen and has worked in one too aside from being an acupuncturist. Nick, the other partner can cook... well, other stuff. He's the chemist, planter, grower. You don't use a spoon much in what he can cook, but you could I guess. He's also an acupuncturist. I'm the financial guy and do the billing and administrative stuff like maintaining records, insurance details, etc.

I don't think Nick or Terri have ever seen The Room or The Tick but they've definitely used spoons. I would never torture them with Room, but I should show them some Tick. then maybe we can eat with spoons and chant SPOON! at the screen and it'll be amazing... maybe?

Spoons can be used for other things other then eating though. You can also make music with them. I once myself used them in a performance which also included spoken word and broken glass and lots on insanity. I didn't have the quality or skill of the spoon man in Soundgarden's SPOONMAN. I was pretty inventive though.

written for therealljidol "Friends & Rivals Mini-Season". Topic 2 "Spoons"

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Sunday, December 6th, 2015
6:31 pm - I'm neither a Missile Nor an Ant and I only Trust Everyone Else but Me!
The person I trust least in this universe is myself. No matter how I shuffle the deck, no matter if I even cheat to make the game for myself, the biggest enemy I have, the person looking for ways to screw me out of fortune is me. I can throw it all in a gamble and believe the universe is the reason I failed, but the truth is deep down I sabotaged myself. Even if I don't know how it's a proof positive.

It's a depressing and torturous thought, one of a dichotomy of trying to do the right thing in this world but knowing I've done so much bad. Knowing that I shall probably already be trying to rectify my past with my present while laying out my future and knowing the only person who will make me crack is... me. I'll make it through the other side some day, but there's a chance the secrets and evil will bear their head again and just when I reach the top of the mountain I'll toss myself off to the bottom. It is inevitable... or is it?

In this manner I relate to a certain wrestler and it makes me know now why I actually conceived the fan art I did. I originally believed it was just because I had two images of him to consult. One where he was wearing a heavy and dark helmet and another where he was not. This wrestler also used to wear a mask in which he was trying to hide from his past under the guise of other machinations. I only just realize that this playing card image was not just because of the images but how I related to the character and how the metaphors related to him.

The performer I speak of is Missile Assault Man. He was once known as Missile Assault Ant. He works for CHIKARA. He debuted as part of a group of various ants including an Orbit Adventure and an Artic Rescue. They were put together by an evil conglomerate to replace the long time ant group The Colony. This new group were the Colony: X-Treme Force. Eventually through various story lines the CXF as they got be called dissipated. Orbit is now dead... actually murdered in the ring. Artic Rescue is not seen much and... Missile Assault is now a Man.. as he always was. Years before he became an ant he was a mercenary soldier ordered to blow up a bus of children in Africa and a large amount of other atrocities. He never felt right about what he had done, hence when given the opportunity to become an Ant as part of a new mission he leaped at it and even when the mission was considered a failure he stayed an Ant and tried to hide from his past. He was successful until a man known as Kevin Condron revealed his secret past to all and forced Missile to remove his mask and try to find redemption. It's unknown at this time still if Kevin, who has a fragile and delicate mind himself had good intentions in revealing Missile's secret. Yet, in the time since becoming a Man, the fans have wanted Missile to become an Ant again. They believe it was as an ANT that he truly found himself. He fights against this, believing he must be a MAN and he wants to be accepted, redeemed and appreciated not for who he was lying to be but who he is now, a man seeking respect and forgiveness so he can move on to whatever his life shall be.



That's me... all the time. I never blew up a bus. I never wore a mask and pretended to an ant. I have gambled though. Literally and figuratively. When playing with honest, real people Poker is actually really fun, but I've only had the luck of playing against evil scumbags who then make me want to blow up a bus with them on it. That's what I'm always fighting against in trust. Knowing I won't be evil, wanting to be evil, knowing I've probably done evil and one day someone will reveal it and I'll be forever trying to redeem myself. It hasn't happened. It may never will.

Luckily I own about 14 sets of playing cards so I can cut my own deck when I ever want... even if I don't trust myself to cut it in someone else's favor. This collection is just another facet of my strangeness. I don't know how it connects to trust or my layers of being a human or something more. I do know I find great comfort in it though. The decks even range from different companies, Bicycle, Gemaco, Liberty, Fundex, Apollo, each deck with its own Jokers. The cards are packed away in no order as if cut and shuffled with no way of knowing what may come. Like my life, like myself, I can't even trust the cards.

written for therealljidol "Friends & Rivals Mini-Season". Topic 1 "Trust Everyone, But Cut The Cards"

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Saturday, December 5th, 2015
11:05 pm - Compiled Results from Twitter of CHIKARA 2015 Season Finale
Dr. Rod Diamondfire interviewed Juan Francisco de Coronado, Kodama and Mike Quackenbush on Periscope.

Gavin Loudspeaker hits the ring to start the show.

MATCH 1:
Batteborn (Snowflake, Missile Assault Man & "That Ol' Juke Joint" Lucas Calhoun) vs. The Snake Pit (Ophidian, Argus, & Shynron)
Condron tell Argus "It's me... Kevin. You know me.". Argus lifts him for a hooked scoop slam and pins Snowflake.

WINNERS: The Snake Pit (Argus, Ophidian, Shynron)

MATCH 2:
Silver Ant vs. Frightmare
After an amazing bout, Silver Ant gets an ankle lock which Frightmare rolls through and turns into a pin for the 3.
WINNER: Frightmare

Gavin introduces Vladimer (from the Reading show) to introduce the next match. (Reid: so Vlad might be the new regular annnoucer?).

MATCH 3:
Gentleman's Club (Chuck Taylor, Orange Cassidy & Drew Gulak) with Swamp Monster vs. The Batiri (Kobald, Kodama & Obariyon) with Ultramantis Black (in a wheel chair)

Classic multiple submissions applied in a row. A CHIKARA staple. Chuckie T used a GRENADE!
Kobald hits a spear on Orange Cassidy and knocks him out for a three. He also knocks his sunglasses off.
WINNERS: The Batiri

After the match all three Batiri do a crazy posedown while wearing Orange's sunglasses.

Mike Quackenbush comes out to introduce the 2015 Year Book. Suddenly the lights go out, come back on and Archibald Peck is in the ring! He shoves Quack and takes the Yearbook... and then begins to read and finds out about his death and RUNS in terror from the arena.
THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED!

MATCH 4:
CIBERNETICO
Juan Francisco de Coronado, Prakash Sabar, Mr. Azabergian, Proletariat Boar of Moldova, Wani, Jakob Hammermeier, Pinkie Sanchez, "Mr. Touchdown" Mark Angelosetti
vs.
Dasher Hatfield, Heidi Lovelace, Race Jaxon, Hype Rockwell, Worker Ant, Amasis, Farmer Frog

Your referee is Derek Sabato.
Dasher Hatfield eliminates Mr. Az after Juan tags out in 10 seconds.
Heidi is the punching bag of the match, getting super slammed by Touchdown. Taking a Bronco Buster from X-Pak.
Juan's entire team does the tag in and tag out beating on Heidi before she gets the hot tag on Dasher.
Pandemonium breaks with a Pier 6 Brawl and everyone in and out of the ring.
The craziness subsides after Amasis, Race, Oleg, Race and Worker Ant simultanelouly suplex Wani, Pinkie, Jacob, Boar and Prakash.
Frog powerslams Prakah into the bodies of everyone outside the ring.
Hype Rockwell eliminates Prakash Sabar. He is then immediately eliminated by Pinkie after a DDT.
Pinkie eliminates Amasis after a missile dropkick.
Jakob hits Worldstar (his KO punch) to eliminate Worker Ant.
After a distraction from Pinkie and a handful of tights, Jakob eliminates Farmer Frog.
While Jakob argues with Sabato because... why not? Heidi rolls him up for an elimination.
Dasher Hatfield hits the jackhammer on Boar to eliminate him.
Wani eliminates Race Jaxon after a rolling neckbreaker and a palm strike to make his impact known.
Wani misses a moonsault and Oleg hits OFF WITH HEAD to eliminate Wani.
Superplex and a spear by Touchdown to eliminate Oleg.
Juan hits a tigerdriver on Heidi to leave Dasher as the only one on his team.
Dasher hits the Jackhammer on Pinkie to eliminate him.
Juan interferes in allowing Dasher and Touchdown to fight.
Throughout the match Touchdown has seemed reluctant to fight the technicos and go full on rudo. He even apologized to Heidi when he slammed her.
Dasher and Touchdown were having a heart to heart. Dasher was on the apron though. Juan shoved Mr. Touchdown. Dasher crashed into the guardrail, gets counted out. Juan then german suplexed Mark to eliminate him and win.

WINNER: Juan Franciso de Coronado

INTERMISSION
(I needed it, the crowd needed it, the wrestlers needed it... we all needed it!

MATCH 5:
Soldier Ant with Jakob Hammermeier vs. Fire Ant with Silver Ant

Fire leaps out of the ring on Soldier. Silver attacks Juan. Soldier leaps at Silver to the outsideFi laying him out and sending him to the back.
Fire and Silver brawl throughout the 2300 arena. Fire Ant climbs a support poll and then SENTON LEAPS onto Soldier Ant from 5-6 feet.
https://twitter.com/KhrisJWilson/status/673329141157117953
Soldier rips off one Fire's antennae.
Fire hits two backdrop drivers in a row. Both only get a 1 count.
Crowd is chanting Colony.
Jakob Hammermeier goes to hit Sabato with the Worldstar and ends up hitting Soldier.
Soldier salutes Fire Ant. Silver comes back out and hugs Soldier. Worker comes out and gets a salute as well. Worker pulls down Soldier's salute and then returns the King of Trios medal to Solider. The Colony is now fully reunited and completely back.

WINNER: No Contest

MATCH 6:
COTI 15
The Wrecking Crew vs. Crown & Court
Max Smashmaster, Blaster McMassive, Flex Rumblecrunch, Jaka vs.
Princess Kimberlee, Jervis Cottonbelly, El Hijo Del Ice Cream, Ice Cream Jr.

Max Smashmaster's hair is... something... different.
After dropping Jervis and Ice Creams fast, Max lays waste to Kimber. Los Ice Creams recover to save Kimberlee from the Max beating. They then swing her so she can get a hurrancarana, but Max catches her and powerbombs her into the top turnbuckle.
Max moonsaults Kimberlee and she is outside the ring laid out trying to recover.
This is a truly uphill battle for Crown and Court. Start clapping people. Ya know like for Fairies?
Kimberlee deliver release german suplexes one after the other to Max, Blaster, Flex and Jaka.
And suddenly Crown and Court have Dev Court cornered literally which each member in a corner delivering punches.
Kimber from the mount hits a powerbomb on Max then the Alligator clutch to secure the three count.
WINNERS: Crown & Court. Challenge of the Immortials 2015 winners.

MAIN EVENT
Match 7:
Grand Championship 3 Way Dance
Eddie Kingston vs. Icarus vs. Hallowicked (c)

All three men are decked out to the nines in to the ring wear gear. Kingston with a cool sleeves jacket, Icarus with a cape and shoulder plates, Hallowicked with a Helmet of insanity!
The fans have gone silent in the arena. Luckily Dr. Rod Diamondfire came on Periscope for a few minutes showing some brutal action with a triple senton dive. An awesome suplex by Kingston on Hallowicked and Icarus hitting the pedigree for two.
Icarus hits the bluray on Hallowicked and almost wins, but Kingston pulls Bryce out of the ring.
Hallowicked hits NEVER WAKE UP on Kingston for the win.
WINNER and STILL GRAND CHAMP: Hallowicked

Kimberlee runs in and cashes in her GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY for a shot at Wicked and the Grand Championship.

MATCH 8:
Grand Championship
Hallowicked (c) vs. Princess Kimberlee
Rage and Frightmare try to interfere but Ice Creams and
Kimberlee gets the Chikara Special and Wicked taps.
WINNER and NEW GRAND CHAMPION: Princess Kimberlee

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Saturday, November 28th, 2015
12:08 pm - Mini Movie Reviews
BLACK MASS: This gangster film is compelling and has good acting, but against other films of its ilk it doesn't stand as strong. Including True Crime which also starred Johnny Depp. As a historical document based on court reports, testimony and existing evidence it's a really strong piece. Depp doesn't drop a beat and ever become Johnny Depp. The strongest performances come from Jesse Plemons and Rory Cochrane though. There's this article which I read before the film came out and now once again after and it's quite a good read and very informative, it doesn't ruin the film, it enhances it.. I think James Bulger would actually be okay with the depiction and the story and route the film takes even if one his lawyers says otherwise.

INSIDE OUT: Pixar's almost most darkest film ever. It suggests in my opinion a lot more then the surface with how it approaches things. There's an insane amount of death, danger, and while it ends on a happy note, I feel like something is ignored or more just subtly mentioned that lets you know all is not as well as it appears and things are about to get even crazier. All the voice performances here are so superb. I don't care about the supposed ripoff of the original concept, cause the Pixar team obviously took that concept and spinned it on its head and added pathos that wasn't there before with character designs that are excellent. I sorta wanna see what happens with Riley at say... 14...or 15, but I don't think Disney/Pixar is ready to go THAT dark.

CREED: Sylvester Stallone put in an amazing performance here. He blew me away. The rest of the film is good too, Tessa Thompson especially. The cinematopgraphy really takes it up a notch. It's filmed in very interesting ways making Ryan Coogler a director to watch, especially with only Fruitvale Station under his belt. It'll be intriguing to see where he goes from here as a creator. Seriously though while this film wasn't really about Rocky, Stallone stole the show. He hasn't gotten to bite into reminding people he's an actor first this well since Cop Land IMHO. The boxing and little details also make it strong. It helps if you're already a Rocky fan, but it also works on its own as the story of an unknown character being revealed to you with a backstory and coming to a spot that he himself could continue from.

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Thursday, November 26th, 2015
12:01 pm - The Academy Award Speech that May Never Happen
It all started when I was three years old. I wanted to be a puppet, but now I stand here before you the winner of best actor in a film. It took many years of fighting, murder, drug escapades, more murder, more fighting and a little bit of acting talent to get here. Along the way there were some people who actually had a real hand in my development. First off my parents, Richard and Karen Cooper, who stood by me and supported everything along the way. Without them I'd be no one one. Angela Lansbury who when I was a baby said I'd be here one day. Danny Devito & Rhea Perlman, admirable talents who were just around in my life when I was a child and made me want to do this and realize ANYONE could. Peter Sklar, my first acting and singing teacher. Two camps, lots of classes, workshops, ridicule, pain, all worth it. Gloria Gifford, my second acting teacher who gave me improv, cold reading, and was like a second mom. Karen Anthony, my third teacher who just helped push the lessons and also got me a date with Danielle Harris when I was still a pre-teen. The Weist-Barron school for some extra lessons. My closest friend from movie sets growing Mario Bosco. The life lessons given to me by the likes of Danny Aiello, Paul Mazursky, Fyvush Finkel, Samuel L. Jackson, Jerry Stiller, Chaz Palmentierri, Joe Pesci, Bruce Willis, Demi Moore, Roseanna Arquette, Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino, Dustin Hoffman and so many more.

Is that the music? You turn that off because you try to play me off and I will make this the most exciting Academy Awards speech ever by forcing you off the air cause "Technical difficulties" as I fight off security.

Now, where was I? Oh yeah, let me thank some really important people. Daring and intelligent professors and mentors like Dare Clubb, Peter Wallace, Sekou Sunidata, Leslie Lee, and Steve Cannon. Cecelia Rubino, the one person to not believe in me. Joe Corcoran and Darren Sussman, founders of Theatermania, which I was proud to help create. My best friends in life and by extension my family through various formats and still the people I turn to and help work for and with like my doctors Nicholas Vincent Isabella the III and Terri Ma, my legal and accounting consultants David Shifren and Michael Langan the II, the entire Rath family Colin, Pamela Harvey, Breana, Nerina and Meriel, the people I love talking to about whatever... so many to mention!

Is that the music again? Are you kidding me? I haven't even thanked the director or the producer or my co-stars. Not that I remember what movie I won this award for. I'm really stoned. I also did 4 tabs of LSD. You all look like giraffes right now. Well, not all, some of of you are penguins. Well, cept Brad Pitt... you look like a hippopotamus sir. The Oscar looks like a dildo. No wait, a hotdog, no... no... it's an Emmy Award. OH WOW! I won an Emmy award? I was only on that damn TMZ show. Um... thanks TMZ cameraman?

If I hear that music one more time I am going to shove that thing up your.... wait... we're off the air? Good. This Awards Show sucks. Now to do what I really planned.

Neil Patrick Harris, Miley Cyrus and the North Philadelphia Tabernacle Choir with Camren Bicondova and Maddie Ziegler performing Band on The Run Everybody!

written for therealljidol "Friends & Rivals Mini-Season". Topic .5 "The Giving of Thanks"

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Monday, November 23rd, 2015
7:59 pm - Experiences in Light & Murder
My weekend got crazy enough just in time for a Livejournal return. I kid you not.

Basically at the last minute on Friday, my good good friend David lets me know he has a spare ticket to an party warehouse event and he wants to treat me. He could choose anyone but he chose me. After some sudden drama on his end in which I may've not ended up joining him I made my way over to his place in Manhattan. After a lot of testing and trying I put on a Rainbow onesie, David throws on a jester outfit and we wait for Collyn who shows up in a sexy bra and a cool shawl. We head out to the street to meet a couple more people before heading down to Brooklyn. David and I get a lot of looks and appreciative comments on our outfits as we make our way. We meet up with Liza, Logan and Eric, three excellent people who would be part of the entire evenings team and jump down into the subway our bodies, minds and souls ready to rock the night and day away.



Which is indeed what happened. Lots of crazy costumes, lots of cool talking, tons of dancing, body painting, things and stuff. People kissed, nude bodies, all that jazz. I didn't even get back to David's still around 6:30 AM. Then no sleep proceeded to happen as talking progressed and more people came back over and all that jazz.



Eventually Dave and I got some food, again his treat, and he wanted me to try out a place I noticed that confused me called LA MAISON DU CROQUE MONSIEUR, mainly cause I couldn't believe there was a restaurant dedicated Ham & Cheese sandwiches. I ended up trying the MR EDUARDO which is Bresaola, Bechamel, Smoked Mozzarella & True Oil. It was good and hit the spot along with some ice coffee. Especially as by then it was now 12 PM and I had not slept since 10 AM the day before.

I then made my way through NYC Weekend subway craziness to a 2 PM matinee of SHEAR MADNESS. My mother was going to go with her boyfriend, but as of know he is still at the hospital waiting to see what comes next, so I went with her. It's a really funny show, the improv is awesome and it's something I'd actually want to go to again... be it in NYC or in Boston or whatever.

By the time I got home and had some take out dinner it was 8:00 PM in which I then promptly crashed... only to wake up again to see some of SNL, then crash again... then eventually wake up and somehow kill a Sunday till SURVIVOR SERIES was on.

And now I await the penultimate episode of Gravity Falls and watching RAW on commercial breaks and then maybe probably the Eddie Murphy Mark Twain Award thing on PBS.

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Friday, November 20th, 2015
4:31 pm - Continued return to LJ?
Music Link:
Simon Rex/Dirt Nasty and Mickey Avalon back together for MARRIED TO THE GAME. A completely Free (just give an email address) new EP full of new funny hiphop kick ass beat inspired comedy.

Kickstarter Link:
A very cool Print by comics Jon Adams of a Mandala featuring Breakfast Cereal Mascots. Buy me one for my birthday... Please and thank you.

BOO News:
Grey's Anatomy and How To Get Away With Murder are off the air till February 2016. There's no new episode of Girl Meets World tonight. I'm still feeling a bit under the weather.

YAY News:
Al's (my mom's boyfriend) surgery went well. He's not out of the woods as they say and will need rehab, but he's doing well.
Seeing SHEAR MADNESS tomorrow because of this. I'm sure my mom would rather go with Al, but tis what it is.

More BOO:
Being sick has made me not functional to do things like my work (creative and non-creative)... not that I've been called to do the creative, but not being able to concentrate has sucked. I'm shocked I had brain power to write that intro topic piece for the therealljidol.

One More Link for fun:
Have you checked out the latest Amazon Pilot Season? Some really cool cartoons. It's a shame they can't all just be green lit.

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Thursday, November 19th, 2015
10:10 pm - I return to the LJ?
First off...

'Tis the season I get that nose full of mucus and being dizzy and wanting to fall asleep.

I've seen a bunch of films lately. I'm not allowed to say why or how. I haven't left my house to do so though and I didn't download them or do anything to see them illegally but most if not all aren't out on DVD yet (so you figure it out). Here's some movie reviews though (I stole some of this from Facebook):

OUR BRAND IS CRISIS: A great political dramedy. While it used another country as a the backdrop, it was just a great reflection on the insanity of political campaigns and strategists. Sandra Bullock was great here, as was Zoe Kazan. Really impressed by Joaquim de Almeida though. I'd be curious to see the 2005 documentary the film is based on. Especially cause I totally saw James Carville in Billy Bob Thorton's portrayal.

TRAINWRECK: I avoided this for a long time, for a strange resistance to Amy Schumer.. but I really liked it. It took me awhile because I felt the early stuff was really hard to get through with such an unlikeable group of characters, but I stuck with it and it was a cute little romantic comedy. I think if anyone but Judd Apatow had been at the helm it'd been a failure, but because of him everything totally worked I feel. Bill Hader was great though too.

GRANDMA: A simple story that is also a wonderful character study. It's a script from Writer/Director Paul Weitz that Lilly Tomlin really got to be strong in. Being the tale of an aned lesbian helping his grandaughter get a pricey abortion might not be for everyone, but it's a really strong little film.

THE END OF THE TOUR: playwright Donald Margulies has written very few screenplays so him tackling such an intense and hevay book as Lipsky's transcript memoir of his road trip with David Foster Wallace always felt like it had to be genius to get to end product. Jason Segel's performance of Wallace carries the film, while Eisenberg is a perfect straight man. While the film in the long run is a truly simple story of a writer and a writer on a road trip learning about each other, it has this underlining worldliness.

INFINITELY POLAR BEAR: Another true story, the details of this are so fascinating. That the writer/director is the eldest daughter in the film is just amazing. The great great grandaughter of the Forbes, whose father is bi-polar and had to raise her and her sister when her mom became the first ever black account executive at a major banking company ever. Mark Ruffallo's performance here is amazing as is both girls... the eldest daughter proving to have some serious acting chops is also the writer/director's daughter. This is just a film to see.

Here's a quick link to a thing I liked:
Concept art from Fantasia

If you didn't watch ADVENTURE TIME: STAKES, you missed out. It was awesome.

Also coming up soon is LONG LIVE THE ROYALS starting November 30th. Watch that too!

If Life news? I don't know. I finally saw Kaiju Big Battel not long ago. My mom's boyfriend had a scare and that made my mom a nervous wreck which turned me into worthless for a week and then I got sick so I'm worthless still.

I'm still waiting for them to take me home to whatever universe I came from.

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Wednesday, November 18th, 2015
12:10 pm - [LJ Idol Mini-Season] Topic 0: Intro: Rambling Man
When I was but a wee lad I wanted to be a puppet without strings. Someone who did silly things, offended people, made people laugh, squirm, whatever. No one got really upset at puppets because they were puppets. They weren't real, but they were real. They could get away with stuff and be hated and loved and at the same time constantly have an audience. They could be annoying, they could be charming, they could sing, they could dance, they could even sometimes romance. Always they would have an audience, because even those who hate puppets? They go out to watch puppets to tell the puppets "I hate you". All the puppet needs to do is be there and it wants to be there. It enjoys the attention and gets to do its thing.

Guess what? I've pulled it off. While I've retained, maintained, and parlayed tons of jobs in my almost 38 years, I was first and always have been a performer. Not just an actor, not just a brilliant to horrible singer (based on your musical aesthetics and my mood at the time), not just a superb dancer, not just an improvisational genius, not just an a man with a billion voices (mostly annoying).

I bet I also come off as a braggart and arrogant, but you know what? So did Miss Piggy and Gonzo the Great and even Lambchop and Howdy Doody. I could show my less confident ways and reveal how vulnerable I am like Fozzy, Kermit, Skeeter, and um... some non Muppet who is overly emotional, has great troubles in love and relationships, fails as much as they succeeds and that other stuff. Which I'm sure the right subject I'll go blathering about my miserable life existence, battles with silly depression, desire to be loved and feeling hated and all that jazz.

Sometimes I won't write... sometimes I'll just draw or photograph though. While part of prior LJ Idols the world learned I was a graffiti and urbex documentarian. Since I've stopped doing LJ I got super involved in indie wrestling again, going to events when I can, taking photographs and then doing elaborate fan art which has only gotten better with each and every piece. I've never shared that stuff on LJ... maybe I will. Maybe! We shall see...(okay you twisted my arm, here's a piece of professional wrestler Snowflake AKA Kevin Condron of CHIKARA fame.


All you really need to know if you don't know me is the following information.
My name is Reid Harris Cooper and I'm here to entertain you... or not. The rest? You'll either learn or you can ask or whatever.
(If your question is "Wanna date?", the answer is Yes, if you live in New York City, are actually available and are a nerd or like pop-culture of all kinds...
what?
Did you ask if I was weird?
Very... verily, indeed.)

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Tuesday, November 17th, 2015
3:08 pm - [The Real LJ Idol] I'm Being Dragged Without Kicking & Screaming!
Welp, there's a mini-season of therealljidol going on and I've been asked to participate.

So I'm doing so. If you're still on Facebook and somehow wanna be part, go to the signup here.

I haven't really done anything on LJ in what feels years other than the occasional random post to keep the LJ active and alive for times like this.

Can I still write? Do I even know how to be social? Do I even know who I am anymore to be able to actually write towards a topic? We'll see... I predict I'm gone like the wind on a summer day.

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3:02 pm - CHIKARA Key Decisions results
I wrote this in a hotel room from memory at around 12:30 AM on Facebook via phone of being there live.
Spoilers
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Match 1: Eddie Kingston vs. Boar of Moldova
After Boar basically destroyed Eddie pillar to post, and back again he got by one perfect hit that wobbled him followed by a backfist to the future.
Winner: Eddie Kingston (3 points)

Match 2:
COTI
Crown and Court vs Snake Pit
Los Ice creams vs Ophidian/Argus
Princess Kimberlee had personal family issues to attend too so both Ice Creams worked
After A heated back and forth in which saw Ice creams show lots of skills the Dev Corp made their way to the ring. As Flex and Max distracted, Blaster came in from behind and punched Argus flat in the face causing a DQ on Ice Creams.
Winners: Snake Pit (Ophidian/Argus)

Match 3: Missile Assault Man vs Artic Rescue Ant
A quality bout which saw MAM scream Man over and over then breaking down when fans chanted Ant allowing Artic to get offense. Eventually Missile had Artic up for a chokebreaker but put him down. As Missile's back was turned, Artic hit a Dropkick and got a sudden pin.
Winner: Artic Rescue Ant

Match 4: Icarus vs. Snowflake with Snow Troll
Icarus mostly best a Snowflake that seemed to never show up. Being a blank slate mostly. Frustrated with it all Snowflake went and got a chair and was stopped by Bryce. Icarus then hit a hard hitting move followed by a submission which Snowflake tapped out to right away.
Winner: Icarus (3 points)

Intermission (I spoke with Pinkie and saw Eddie Kingston do a stare off and more stuff)

Match 5:
COTI
BDK vs United Nations
Pinkie Sanchez vs Juan Francisco de Coronado
Referee was Jon Barber.
Juan announced it was his birthday and tried to teach us the Ecuadorian birthday song. Pinkie interrupted carrying a cake and singing the traditional bd song. As pinkie hands the cake back to a staff Juan gets a roll up.
He hits a German and than a second but Barber is saying he counted three in the first roll up which most of us was confused by as was Pinkie but that was it.
Winner: JFDC (un)

Match 6:
COTI
Gentlemans Club vs Nightnare Warriors
Chuck Taylor/Orange Cassidy vs hallowicked/Frightmare
Best match of the night. Everyone got good stuff in.
End came with Wicked hitting a fisherman buster/ddt on Chuck.
Winners: nightmare warriors

Match 7: COTI
Wrecking Crew vs Arcane Horde
Devastation Corp (max, blaster, flex) and Jaka
Umb comes out with horde (Batiri and Oleg) then presents Kobald.
Match was all over the place with some cool spots but not as great as could be.
Kobald hit Demon's Toilet on Flex
Winners: Arcane Horde
The end

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